Thursday, December 25, 2008

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

And Merry Christmas to everyone.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

SJP

Dear Sarah Jessica Parker,
I don't like you very much. It's nothing personal. It could be because your face makes me very uncomfortable. It is what I like to call "unfortunate looking"; as if your face has been in some kind of unfortunate accident. Or it could be because I never really liked "Sex And The City". The first time I ever saw it, you were wearing a tutu in the middle of New York City and I thought you just escaped from a mental hospital. Is the old looking one suppose to be your mother? Is the red headed lesbian her partner? I just don't get it.
Anyway, that's not why I am writing you. Today while I was at Steve and Barry's, I came across your clothing line BITTEN. I just wanted to thank you because I actually found jeans in my size. Not only were the in my size but they were also on sale. Not only were they in my size and on sale, they make my ass look FANTASTIC.
So, thanks. You made a fat chick really happy today.
All the best,
Firefly

PS- Because Steve and Barry's is going out of business (which I assume you did single-handedly) everything is 75% off. EVERYTHING.
Mom's newest beau bought two mannequins for his suit of armor and his storm trooper costume. I sincerely wish there was a joke in here somewhere but there isn't. My mom is dating a guy who, for fun, dresses as a storm trooper. I bet he goes to the conventions too.

There's no A in Biology...but there is a B

Well, it happened. The streak is over.
I no longer have a 4.0. Anatomy and Physiology 1 broke me.

You want to know the weirdest thing?

I'm okay.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Psych Final

Just finished my Psychology of Development final. Yep. Nothing like talking about Freud at 7am. I think I did pretty well on it.
I do have a few grips though.
  • Why would you think that the final for your 7am class would start at 7:30? The schedule has been posted online for weeks, sent out in the email by almost every teacher, and the times for the individual classes are on Blackboard. Almost 5 people walked in at 7:20, thinking they were on time. One even said, "We're not late. Ya'll started early." Um....no, sweetheart. You're the one that has a fucked up sense of time.
  • if you know the final will be at 7am, and the book store doesn't open until 7:45, why didn't you get a scantron yesterday? Or even on Friday, when the class last met? Next semester, I'm charging for mine. How much is it worth to you?

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Iz Undr UrTree...Steeln Ur Prsentz


Hehehe.
The old Blue dog under the tree.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Weekend Update

  • I don't care how many times I have seen "Live Free or Die Hard", I will never get tired of seeing Timothy Olyphant. He is without a doubt the sexiest villian ever. I don't know. Something about a totally hot computer hacker hell bent on the distruction of the US must get me all hot and bothered...I seriously hot I don't end up on a government list for saying that.
  • Put the tree up today. Blah.
  • I saw Four Christmases today. Cute. Sorta funny. Really predictable. I'll give it a C.
  • Tomorrow is my last day of class. After that I have 3 days of finals to deal with. I think I'll be okay. :)

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Oh....My....God

I downloaded the StumbledUpon bar last week. Best thing ever. Seriously. I've seen more cat videos in the past week than I have in my whole life.
Anyway, I had the bright idea to add myself to the site last night.
Wow.
I had 48 hits today.
I average 7. On a good day. And two of them are usually me.

My first thought: Oh shit. Now I actually have to write something interesting.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Is there life out there?

[I love that song.]
I thought I should write and tell all of you that I haven't died in some awful textbook incident.
Finals are upon us and I am swamped.
College is like fucking quicksand. At first, you try to be optimistic about it. "Oh, this isn't so bad...someone will come rescue me soon." And before you know it, it's up around your neck and you are freaking the fuck out.
I have class tomorrow, Friday and Monday and then three days of finals.
What's on the agenda for the next three class periods?
  • Anatomy test (central nervous system and the senses)
  • Anatomy lab practical (muscles, central nervous system, and the senses)
  • Psychology presentation...I'm seriously not looking forward to this
  • Three psychology journal entries
  • Two humanities tests
  • Humanities photo project...not so bad
  • Two chapters of Statistics to cover before the final
Oh, God. Help.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Did I really just say that?

"Yeah. I found some pictures of Dragon Fruit plants. It says they were taken in San Diego but there are a lot of Asian people in these photos. Maybe they were taken in San Diego, Asia. Is there such a place? They have a Paris, Texas and a Lebanon, Pennsylvania."

Is that racist or just stupid? Because I was told Dragon Fruit only grow in Asia and that is why you never see them in the states.

Hmmm.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Probability of X and....something

I'm fairly sure this exact question will be on my statistics text tomorrow:

If, on a farm. there are 12 cows; 4 chickens; and one emu, find the following:
A. How long can the farmers wife bake a loaf of bread before burning it.
B. How much tea cost in China.
C. The Meaning of Life.
D. The probability that you will pass this test.

Three weeks of school left; only 5 days of class left though.
Oh and I saw 45 mintues worth of the show 24 tonight. I totally get it now.

How do I love you? Let me count the ways.


Dear New Purse,
I love you. No, seriously. From the moment I laid eyes on you in the middle of a crowded Target, I just knew I had to have you.
I swear it'll be different with you. Yeah, I've cheated on every other bag I have had before you but this is different! My Vera Bradley is great but she is more of a tote for books. All the others; they were nice but it was always something off about them. Too big, too small, not enough zippers, too many snaps. But you are perfect the way you are. You hold my books and folders and my notebook and you even have a pocket on the outside for my phone...which never fits in the so called cell phone pockets. And the little zipper pocket; great for my Burt's Bees and inhaler.
This is totally the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Love you,
Firefly

PS- I hope you are not the jealous type. The Jansport stays. I'll sure you will get along...kind of like polygamous wives...only, you know, bags.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

It's Miley!

I don't care who you are or where you are from. Hannah Montana shirts should never, ever be available in adult sizes. Someone people explain this to the people at the local Walmart because, some how, it's just not getting through to them.

Also, it is almost 9:20 on a Thursday night. There are midnight showing of Twilight that are going to start in about 2.5 hours. If you are at a midnight showing of Twilight, I hope you get pneumonia. There isn't even a joke in there anywhere. I hope you get fucking pneumonia.
That is all.

For some reason, I am just full on condescension and malice tonight. Xanax must not have kicked in yet.

Friday, November 14, 2008

TV Rots Your Brain

I watch a whole documentary on corn last night. Corn. To make matters worse, I watch it again when it came on three hours later.
What the fuck is wrong with me?

Thursday, November 13, 2008

ShamWow!

Dear Vince from ShamWOW!,
Your headset makes you look like a douchenozzle.
All the best in your future endeavors,
Firefly

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

*&%^

Okay, Douchebag. You are officially on my shitlist.
I tolerated your complete and total arrogance because I figured, "Whatever. We work together. What can I do about it?"
I thought maybe that was just the way you are because you are trying to prove how important you are or as a defense mechanism because you have no friends or some other psychobabble reason.
Today, I realized that you are just an asshole.

Him: So, Firefly, I've got a joke for you.
Me: I'm not going to go to hell for laughing at it, am I?
Him: No, no, no. So what do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Me:...
Him: You hit her.
Me:...
Him:...
Me: Yeah. Not funny.
Him: Oh, okay. Well Maybe we can change it up to work for you. Um...what do you do when your provider..
Me: No. I make my own money.
Him: Okay. What do you do when the person who's car you drive..
Me: No. Doesn't work either.
Him: What do you..
Me: Yeah. You should probably walk away now...
Him: {walks away}

Oh and another gem of his: "I can't talk politics with guys because I get angry at them but I'm okay doing it with girls because I think, 'Oh, that's so cute. She has an opinion.'"

Fucktard.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Stuck.

Hello, my faithful readers. I haven't the faintest idea as to why all of you still hang around. Must be the prospect of me actually having something remotely interesting or even [gasp!] articulate to say.
I don't think I can describe exactly how I am feeling right now.
Tired. Wired. Twired. Like physical exhaustion but with a racing mind, thinking of all of the things that I need to get done.
I have so much to do and the amount of time that I have to do it in is rapidly decreasing.
I want to get out of here for a while but that's just not possible right now. Neither the time nor the resources are there.
I just need to hold it together for just a little while longer.

Thank you.

Thank you so much anonymous A&P professor. The last thing I would ever want to do (besides see anyone from ICP naked) is call some of my classmates stupid. But since you did it, it's okay.

I grade my students' work because they need to know if they are getting the material. I need to know if they are getting the material. The programs my students apply to need to know if the students got the material. As an anatomy/physiology instructor my job is to both teach and screen. There are WAY TOO MANY students out there trying to be nurses and FAR TOO FEW that actually have the intelligence, drive, and reasonable expectations to be a nurse. The waiting list for nursing schools in my area is 3-4 years for the CC track for an RN (registered nurse degree) and highly competitive if you want to bypass the CC and get a BSN (bachelor's in the science of nursing) at the local university. Some students really want to be nurses, but don't have "it." I won't let sloppily assigned grades be a crutch for some to student hobbling his or her way through prerequisites. If a student is failing my course that is a clear sign that destiny has another path in store for the student. I don't want idiot nurses. Do you?
EDIT: I should probably mention this is from Rate Your Students as a response to the question, "Why do we grade?"


Thursday, November 06, 2008

UpperCase

OH MY GOD. I GOT A 82/100 ON MY ANATOMY TEST THAT I WAS SURE I FAILED. I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY RIGHT NOW AS YOU CAN TELL FROM MY USE OF ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Update

Currently listening to: Lenka's "The Show"
Currently watching: The Chronicles of Riddick
Currently doing: Anatomy homework...what else?
Currently wearing: Clothes...and a lime green pimp hat...Happy Halloween
Currently feeling: Blah

To Do this weekend:
  • Seven chapters worth of lab reports
  • Joint and muscle notes
  • Muscle flashcards
  • Read 2 chapters in Psychology of Development
  • Clean my fish tank
  • Clean my bedroom
  • DUST....it is so gross right now...
What I am Thankful for:
  • Making a 100% on my Statistics test
  • That the psych teacher reduced the number of service learning hours from 20 to 15
  • The amazing steak I just had at Outback....and the chocolate raspberry cake...And the really good company...also the waiter was totally cute.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Thankful

I am thankful that my anatomy test in on Wednesday and that I have a few more days to study for it.
I am thankful for financial aid so that I don't have to lose sleep worrying about money for a little while.
I am thankful that I got a chance to see some of the kids that I spent so much time with over the summer during my volunteer hours today.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Giving Thanks

  • I am thankful I have a job that allows me to help people who truly need it even though at times it can be frustrating.
  • I am thankful for the chilly weather so that I have an excuse to wear my cute sweater.
  • I am thankful for having time this morning to put on makeup so that I wouldn't look like I went ten rounds with a kangaroo because of the bags under my eyes.

My psychology teacher just got back from a conference on gratitude and the power of positive thinking on the psyche. She said that it would be a good idea for us to write down three things everyday that we are thankful for.

I know that it would be a little unrealistic for me to write three things in this blog every day but I am going to aim for at least three times a week.

Bloggin' before School

I'm leaving the house in about half an hour for school...yeah...I leave at 6:15am for a 7am class.
Work from 8-12:30. Stats at 1.
Humanities cancelled today....but next week we are watching Sweeney Todd in class for our theater chapter...awesome....
I didn't sleep at all last night...thank God for sugar-free hazelnut coffee mix....and I know what you are all thinking..."Sugar free?!?!?!"
Well, shut up. Unless I want my blood sugar to spike and for me to fall asleep in a puddle of my own drool at work, sugar free it is....but on another note, I suppose falling asleep in my drool is better than falling asleep in someone else's drool.
What the fuck am I even talking about anymore?
I thought I was suppose to be intelligent and articulate and all of that other flowery bullshit.
Whatever.
Oh and I am also bringing my anatomy book to work so I can get a few minutes of studying in.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Literary Confessions

  • I have about 20 books on my shelf that I have not read yet but plan to...eventually. I figure Plath and Steinbeck will understand that they have to be put on the back burner while I get acquainted with my anatomy book.
  • I read "Twilight" and I thought it sucked. It's like a dirty thong on the ass of the literary world. It doesn't deserve a quarter of the credit it gets and it sure as hell doesn't need a movie based on it. When I was finished with it, I swear I thought a 13-year old fangirl wrote it after being beat over the head by an Anne Rice hardback until she was retarded.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

...trippy...


*Insecurity Alert*

I was accused by one of my friends of being frigid [to be fair, she didn't say that exactly, but it's close]. I don't know. Maybe I am. I just have such a hard time connecting with people because I am so afraid that when I finally do let my guard down and let a people get close to me, they won't like what they see...and even if they do, they will just eventually move on. When I told her about the moving on thing, she said that it wasn't like they wouldn't keep in touch.

I guess I always thought I wan't worth keeping in touch with.

Friday, October 10, 2008

[insert sad face]

I have been seriously busy these past few weeks and I probably wouldn't blame any of you if you hated me...believe me...you wouldn't be the first for something so trivial.
I'm at work right now.
But I will post more sometime this weekend because for the first time since the semester started, I don't have a mountain of homework looming over me.
I might even post pics.

[fin]

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Warn the French Quarter

I am going to New Orleans tomorrow to get a new ID.
I don't think I have been to NOLA since Katrina...seriously.
How sad is that?

Skipping class and getting a cold.

I just totally sneezed 10 times in row. Gross.
But that is besides the point.
I have an Anatomy and Physiology test on Monday on basic histology, bone tissue, muscle tissue and nervous tissue. And the lab practical is on Wednesday and it covers all of the chapters we have done so far this semester.
So I didn't go to work today so I could spend some time in the library studying. I even skipped my statistics class. Funny story (well, not really)...I told the girl who sat next to me about it.
Me: You would be so proud of me. I skipped a class today.
Her: High five!
Me: I spend the time in the library studying.
Her: Give me my high five back.
The teacher came in and asked how we were feeling today.
Her: Some of us are less tired that others because we skipped a class.
I guess she pointed at me.
Teacher: You skipped class?!?!
Me: Yeah. But I hate that class so it was okay.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

God Save the [pre]Nursing Students

I know that I have been pretty out of it the past month. But can you really blame me?
School started back and it already feels like I am drowning. Usually, that doesn't happen until at least midterm. Plus, if I am not in class, I am working. I am at school from 7am until 3pm.
Plus, I heard some of my classmates talking shit about me and that has been pissing me off. Those catty bitches in my anatomy class need to shut the fuck up.
Here's what happened.
We had our first test a week or so ago. I didn't think it was all that bad. Review stuff, really. Basic themes of biology, planes of the body, directional terms, some chemistry stuff, macromolecules, and cells. No big deal, right?
Wrong.
The average score in the class was a 58. Yeah. Out of 100. The scores ranged from 88 to 45.
I got an 88. Thank God the teacher didn't announce scores out loud like my Algebra teacher did last semester. I would have caught hell for it.
But she did ask a few students how they prepared for the test. So I told her (and the class) what I did. [this is actually the extended version.The ones I actually said are in bold...I didn't want to seem like a total nerd]
  • I checked the class schedule for what chapter we will be covering that day and I read it, trying to get a basic understand of it before class.
  • I go to the lecture and take notes from the PowerPoints, noting page numbers and diagrams.
  • I read the chapter again, highlighting important details.
  • I go over the chapters again and take even more detailed notes.
  • I rewrite my notes.
  • I do the quizzes at the end of the chapters.
  • I work in the book's study guide.
  • I take all of the quizzes and tests on the publisher's website.
  • If I have trouble with the material, I make flashcards.
  • I look for podcast on the subjects we are covering.

And do you believe that the next class period I heard a few of the other students saying, "I can't believe that test was so hard. She should have curved the grades. Did you hear that girl say she actually reads the chapter three times and takes notes besides the PowerPoints? I'm not giving up my free time to do that."

Um....are you fucking stupid? If you want that ADN as much as you say you do, you will give up whatever it takes. How much do you think I have sacrificed to have the grades and, more importantly, the understanding of the material that I have today? I have given up sleep and friends and relationships...and guess what? Unfortunately, that is the way it has to be right now. I know it won't be forever and that once I have my nursing licence, I can relax a little bit. But until then, some things have to be put on the back burner.

I seriously can't wait until midterm and all of these stupid bitches have dropped the class.

Cypress

I thought since I haven't posted in ages, my readers might like a view of my second home, the Cypress building on campus. It houses all of the science labs [including anatomy...which has been kicking my ass lately].
I know they are not the best quality but what do you expect after a 7am Monday morning Psychology class, taken on a cell phone?

Monday, September 22, 2008

Post Gustav - Photo Edition

A picture is worth a thousand words...or a couple thousand dollars worth of damage to the house and cars.



Would you believe that we were the lucky ones?

The picture below is of our neighbor across the street.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Post Gustav / Pre Ike

I'm not dead but God must hate us because Ike is baring down on us now. Fuck.
A tree fell across all of the power lines, taking the cable, phone, and internet out with it. It also landed on the Blazer and the new Impala. It could have been worse though. The guy across the street is missing the front of his house.
We just got power Wednesday night after it being out for 10 days. I imagine hell is like that: 3 sweaty people trapped in a hot house with 4 smelly dogs and a fish. Gross.
We donj't have internet or phone yet.
Pics to be posted as soon as we get internet back.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Hurricane

Oh. Shit.

The wind is starting to blow and the rain is about to start.

Hopefully everything will be okay.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Back To the Grind

Hello dearest readers. I know you all must feel terribly neglected. My bad.

I started school last Monday. It might have been the best first day in all of my semesters there at the college. I've been there long enough to know a lot of people and I have a friend in every class I am taking, even if they are new friends. J Here's the schedule:

7am: Psychology of Development. I have the same teacher that I had for Intro to Psych because I know how she teachers and how her tests are set up. Plus, she posts all of her notes online (SCORE!). This semester, I have to create a "life-span scrapbook" (infancy, early childhood, middle childhood, so on and so forth) and I also have to do Service Learning. Service learning is like community service that is required to pass the course. I have the choice of doing it at a retirement community or at a local high school. I'm not sure which one I want. I think that the psychology professors are working on trying to get the program that I worked with over the summer approved for service learning as well. That would be great because I already know the directors and the kids that are in the program. Keep your fingers crossed.

8am-11am: Anatomy and Physiology 1. This is going to be a pretty rough class. I think about 10 of the students that are in my class now actually took it last semester and either failed it or withdrew from it because they were in danger of failing it. I'm a little scared of this one, to be honest. It was only the second day today and there is so much to read and try to remember. And there is added pressure because this is a required class for getting into the nursing program and from what I have heard about the admissions and how selective they are being (30 students out of the 500 that applied??? What??), if I don't get at least a B in it (even with having all A's in all of my other prereqs and general ed. courses), I can kiss acceptance goodbye.

11-12:30pm: Work. J I love my job. The only bad part: If I am tutoring you, don't answer your fucking cell phone. Seriously. A.)You are not even supposed to be on it in the learning center anyway. B.) It is incredibly rude to me. Next time it happens, I'm just walking always from the session and they can come find me after they are done chatting. I have other things I could be doing and other people I could be helping.

1pm: Statistics. I wasn't too worried about this class until we got our first homework assignment. Yeah. I might be in trouble.

2pm: Intro to Humanities. My "easy" class for the semester. We get to read poetry, write stories, paint and we even have a guy coming to teach us how to tango for our chapter on dance. Sweet.

Friday, August 22, 2008

:::crickets:::

My favorite study buddies reacting to this semester's course load. They probably won't be very much help.


And I know ya'll feel abandoned. I swear I post some time this weekend about what my first week back was like.
Just so you know, I have a good feeling about this semester. :) Even though Anatomy and Statistics might kill me.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

I think I just threw up a little bit.

I am officially disgusted with the human race.
My most recent search engine reference:
"videos of freeballing in basketball shorts"
Lovely. Just lovely.
I think that the worst part of that was that I wasn't even on the first page. I was on the third...several down, actually. Someone in Houston really, really wanted to see some balls.
I'm off to take a shower and see if this dirty feeling will wash off.

Back To School: Links Edition

Howtostudy.org When you hit the books -and they hit back. Without a doubt, this is the best college resource of the web. It has tons of links and study tips for almost every subject.

Tips From Former Nursing Students Because we need all the help we can get.

Indo-European Languages Tutorials Best language tutorials on the internet.

Rate Your Students You know the professors talk about you when you're not around, right? Most students deserve it anyway. Click the link for some of the most entertaining and honest higher education commentary you will ever read.

College Students: College Life and Technology at The Students Blog Really great general information articles.

Dictionary.com Best dictionary site ever…way better than going to Google and typing "define: whatever".

Top Ten No Sympathy Lines Don't ever, ever, EVER, under any circumstances say these to a professor. Seriously.

How to Swear Pick a curse word. Pick a language. This website probably isn't the most accurate but if you have nothing to do on a Friday night, get together with friends and practice throwing insults back and forth in Farsi.

[Note: List subject to editing.]

Back To School: Icon Edition

General Icons:
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Nursing Icons:
Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket
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Note: I did not make any of these icons so I can not take credit for any of them.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Productive

It has been a really productive day so far...and it is only 4:30. I guess that is what happens when you wake up at 4:45 in the morning...without the help of an alarm clock, I might add. My clock was set for 5:50am but I bet it. Plus, I hate the sound it makes so any morning I don't have to wake to it, I win. It is a "natural sounds" alarm clock, so instead of an awful buzzing sound or something, I wake up to equally awful cathedral bells. Yuck.

We left the house really early and bought school supplies this morning. All I needed were a few binders and some black pens because I still have some stuff left over from last semester. Plus, I bought some regular folders last week. I didn't want to get too much last week because that was when EBR school started back and all the stores were absolutely crazy and I didn't want to get stabbed over a red pen like it is the last one in the universe. "That's my protractor, bitch!" :::stab::: No, thank you.

I also went to the school's book store this morning before work and bought my books. Three books. All paperback. $400. And the worse thing, I will never use them after this semester. Why do they have to update them every year? It's ridiculous. I mean, come on. Do you honestly think I am going to read that psychology book after the final? No. But mom did get some really cute highlighters that look like syringes. Too cute.

more.later

And here we are...

Hey everyone. I know I haven't posted in the past few weeks. Oh, well. Life goes on.
As you all know, Lee broke his ankle two weeks ago and that has been keeping me really busy. I didn't get any sleep at all the first week it happened because as soon as I would start to close my eyes, I would get a call on my cell phone...and this was happening at 2am. Damn that sucked. And just two nights ago, Mom left for the night and Lee ended up calling her 10 times because I had fallen asleep and my phone was on silent. [sigh] Oh and he also got into a car wreck with one of his stoner friends when they were going to pick up a prescription. Lovely. He has a cut on his neck were the seat belt got him. Mom keeps joking that we are going to get him fitted for a plastic bubble.
I have work today at 9:30...well, actually work training but I still get paid for it but I'm going to leave the house in about an hour (7am) so that I can get some school supplies shopping done. I also want to get to the school early and buy my books.
Yeah, that's pretty much the plan for the day. Although, I might clean my room when I get home.
Oh, the exciting life I lead.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Broken.

My younger brother broke three bones in his ankle earlier today. He had to have surgery to fix it. Apparently, when they put the cast on him in the hospital, they also issued him a license to be total dick to everyone.

Why do I have the feeling that for the next 6-8 weeks he's going to be milking this for all it's worth?

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Look How Far We’ve Come

I hate this. This situation, this feeling, everything. It's like I am stuck in the "Ground Hog Day"-style rerun of my life. The same people doing the same shit in the same place. I don't want to be here anymore. You would think over the past three or fours years something would be better than it was…and, in this case, you'd be wrong.

I'm still the same fucked up girl as I was when my dad passed away. I'm still insecure, neurotic, obsessive, and paranoid. I still need constant reassurance and approval of others even when I say that I am totally my own person and other's opinions don't matter. Oh, and I'm a liar too.

The weird thing is that, after mom broke up with JackAss, I thought I was getting better. He was gone and, along with him, all of the insults and torture he put us through. I thought I was a strong and confident for the first time in my life. I had been through hell and came out the other side with scars that going to eventually heal. But now he's back. What the fuck am I going to do?

I asked her, after everything he has done, if she still wants him back in her life. She hesitated and then said "Yeah. On a part time basis." I told her than that is what she can expect from me. If he is here, I'm not going to be.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Photo of the Day

He's going to hate me but I absolutely had to post this picture. This is my younger brother, *Lee*, at Paradise Smoothie earlier today. I thought his expression was too funny not to share. I think I surprised him the camera phone.
Oh and I have a new favorite smoothie flavor: Banana coconut. Yum.
I got green apple. It was great but I like the banana coconut more. :)


And if you needed anymore proof that I am a complete geek, I spent a few hours today going over anatomy notes in preparation for A&P 1....and school doesn't start for another three weeks. Yeah. I should just get LOSER tattooed on my forehead now.
Oh and I'm also listening Disney music....right now it's on a song from "Beauty and the Beast".

Sunday, July 27, 2008

The Mosaic Meme

1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr search.
2. Using only the first page of results, pick one image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Big Huge Lab’s Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of the picture answers.

The questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food right now?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. What is one word that describes you?
12. What is your flickr name?

Saturday, July 26, 2008

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things…

(Try to say the title of this post in a singsong voice…it makes more sense that way)

  • Goat cheese and apricots
  • Sleeping pills
  • Red grapes
  • My water bottle (no more plastic bottles...better for the environment…plus I refuse to pay $4 for bottled water like I did when I saw "Get Smart")
  • Comments on my Blog
  • Pixdaus (really cool photography) http://www.pixdaus.com/
  • Faces in inanimate objects…like here: http://flabbergastedly.com/?p=96
  • Aged White Cheddar Kettle Corn from Popcorn Indiana….yum
  • Katy Perry's song, "I Kissed a Girl"…try your best not to read too much into that
  • Old Saturday Nigh Live episodes…and when I say old, I mean back when Will Farrell and Jimmy Fallon were on it
  • Nan Ryan romance novels
  • Photos from the turn of the century to the 1950's
  • Blogs that are updated everyday
  • Dr. Bonner's Magic Soap in Peppermint
  • Burt's Bees Beeswax Lip Balm…not the Honey Lip Balm though because it feels kind of gross
  • Time elapsed videos on Youtube that show flowers blooming and mushrooms growing….don't ask
  • Reading the favorite things of my favorite bloggers J

Monday, July 21, 2008

The Leather Corset is on Back Order

Me: *Firefly*

Him: "I'm sorry. What was that again?"

Me: *Firefly*

Him: "Oh, okay. Ha. For a second there, I thought you said your name was "Master'"

The voice in my head: "No, honey. That would be Mistress but only on the weekends."

Yum. Smoothies.

I was going to spend this entire post bitching about life and family, more specifically, my prick brother and his leathery skinned whorebag girlfriend. I know that is what you would rather read about but no.

I said to myself, "Firefly, you need to take all of that anger and rage you feel right now and ball it up. Just squish it and put it away, far away. And in ten years, when they cut that tumor out, this whole thing will seem really petty."

So I am not going to bitch about anything but I am going to write about something I love.

Smoothies.

Yes, smoothies.

As some of you may or may not know, I used to work at Smoothie King. That place sucks. Seriously. You think Starbucks is ripping you off? You would have a fucking heart attack if you saw the profit margin on some of those shitty drinks. The Slim-N-Trim Smoothies cost about $0.30 to make. Yeah, and you are paying $5 for ice, water, and chocolate powder. Ha. Don't you feel like a total jackass? Oh and the posters of all the yummy-looking fruit you see when you walk in? Non existent. All of the fruit flavors come from packaged juices and cans and the strawberries are frozen with sugar. The only fresh fruit that is used are the bananas.

Anyway, I found a place in Baton Rouge that I am absolutely in love with. Paradise Smoothie is located at Sherwood Forest and Florida Boulevard. They have the best smoothie in Baton Rouge and, while I may not be totally qualified to say this but I will anyway, possible the whole world. If they found a Smoothie Place on Mars, Paradise Smoothie would probably be better than that one too.

The first thing you notice when you walk in Paradise Smoothie is how hip it looks, and yes I realize how uncool it is to say the word "hip" but it is the only way to describe it. They have computers and a flat screen TV to keep you entertained while you are waiting for your drink. The employees are so nice and willing to offer suggestions because the options and combinations of drinks available are kind of intimidating.

I'll make a few suggestions:

  • Pina Colada smoothie with pineapple jelly. The jellies are small cubes that have a constancy that falls somewhere between jello and gummy bears. It's my favorite.
  • Strawberry Pineapple with Tapioca Peals. Yum.
  • Strawberry Banana with rainbow jelly. I'm not sure why it is called "rainbow jelly" when they are red, orange, yellow, and white but they are good no matter what color they are.

I don't know why the bubble smoothies are so appealing. Maybe it is the comically large straws that you drink them with or the idea of chewing and drinking at the same time. Whatever it is, consider your life incomplete if you have never had one.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Exiting the Tornado

Have you ever seen cartoons where the character is sucked into a tornado and when they are spit back out by it, they are like, "Ohmygod…what the fuck just happened?"

That is kind of how I feel right now. Five days a week for six weeks, I have been going up at 5:30am to arrive at work for 6:45am. After a very full day of helping with homework, tutoring both math and English, stopping arguments, overseeing football games, giving out band-aids and Neosporin, and generally playing the role of momma hen; I would get home at 4:30 and still have work to do, whether it was working on projects for the kids or grading papers. The pay was not good, either. After taxes, I was taking home about $6.25 a hour.

I did this for six weeks. I was underpaid, underappreciated, and overworked. Some days I came home crying and most mornings, I didn't even want to get out of bed. How did I do it? Why did I do it? And more importantly, why do I plan on doing it again next summer?

It is something I can not explain. Yes, it was hard and there were days when I wanted to quit. But to see the look in one of the girls' eyes when I was able to explain to her a math problem that had nearly driven her to tears in a way she understood, that makes it worth it. The look of pride on one of the boys' faces when I told his mother what an intelligent, driven young man he is and how I think he will go far, that makes it worth it. To see how upset some of the girls got when I told them I wasn't going to be able to go to Atlanta with them because they were hoping I would be rooming with them, that makes it worth it.

I told them not to worry, that I would be with them next summer. I hope we are going to Austin. I've never been.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Seriously…what the fuck?

Okay, these fucking kids seem to be forgetting their place. One of the other tutor/mentors or tutor/counselors or prison wardens or whatever the fuck they are calling us almost slapped one of the students for stepping to her and getting in her face. But she kept her cool and brought the issue to the director. Consider the girl wasn't going to Atlanta anyway and there are only 2 more days left for the summer program (!!!), I'm not sure what they are going to do about it.

Oh and one of the other students got into a shoving match with the math teacher about showing his work when writing algebra problems on the board. Yeah. A totally justified reason assault a teacher, have security called on you, and get kicked out of the program.

Well, it is past midnight and I still have to shower and manage a few hours of sleep before 5am.

Goodnight.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Testing…1…2…3

Okay. I'm on Microsoft Word 2007 right now. Hopefully this shit works. If not, than I just have to go back to the old fashion way…actually getting on the internet and writing.

EDIT

OMG. I totally can't believe that just worked. I am so excited.

Thank you, Jordan!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Damn Blogger

I swear, this is the first time in a week that I have been able to get Blogger to load.
I've tried and tried and tried to get this relationship to work but if Blogger isn't careful and continues to neglect me and my blogging needs, I'll have to go crawling back to Vox....or worse, Wordpress.
What to say, what to say.
Oh, if someone doesn't stop using my razor, he's are going to find himself without eyebrows in the morning.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I'm chill like that.

I don't have a lot of time to post because I can feel my eye lids starting to droop and I still need to take a shower before going to bed so this will just be a quickie.

*Lee* moved back home on Sunday. We have yet to see if this is a good or bad thing. He looked just awful when he got here. He had lost so much weight and had a horrible infection on his face. The infection has since cleared up and he is now eating like a horse (or a vacuum...insert whatever analogy you deem appropriate).

Work is much, much better than it was the first few weeks. I have relaxed a bit and I am trying not to let the little things bother me so much. Get go with the flow, right?

I don't really know what I am doing yet this weekend. I need to go out and do something fun. Maybe the mall or a bookstore or something. We might get a little crazy and go to New Orleans. We'll see. :)

Friday, June 20, 2008

You don't look the same without the familiar background.

Have you ever gotten so used to seeing someone in a particular setting that it kind of startles you when you see them somewhere else?
That happened to me today.
We took a college tour of LSU today and while I was sitting in the union I hear, "Hey *Firefly*." I thought it was one of the kids but when I looked up, I saw a guy I worked with at my college's learning center. I had no idea he went to school at LSU too. He said that he had to go take a test and he couldn't talk but it was good seeing me (I know, it's always good to see me).
As he was walking away, I couldn't help but think, "Wow. He has a nice ass."
The next thought: I don't think he was wearing anything under his basketball shorts.
I don't think I will ever be able to see him again without wonder whether or not he is freeballing it that day.
That could make work a little awkward when the fall semester rolls around.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Work and Bones

Hey everyone. This is going to be quick because I have to leave the house in 15 minutes to go to work. :/
I had a day off yesterday because regular classes started at the college and we would not know what rooms the program's classes would be in. Yeah for the three day weekend!
And how did I spend my weekend you ask? Sleeping, wearing pajamas, and watching "Bones" on AOL video. I love that show but it gives me bad ideas. Like, "I want to stay in school for another 20 years so I can be an anthropologist" or " I want to start a complicated relationship with an FBI agent where we deny our feelings for each other until one day we end up having sex at a museum." That hasn't happened yet, I don't think. I bet they are saving it for sweeps.
Wish me luck.
Including today, only 24 more days to go.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Happy Fucking Father's Day

I hate these goddamn Hallmark holidays.

You're on notice...

The "On Notice" board generator is my new favorite thing, after contributing to the diliquency of minors, of course. Haha, just kidding. They don't need any help with that.

http://www.shipbrook.com/onnotice/

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Confession of the day.

I had no idea that Kathy Lee Giffard and Kathy Griffin where two different people. When I saw footage of one, I would think, "Oh, she must have had a lot of surgery." Haha.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

I'm sorry...

I know you won't ever read this. Maybe that's why I'm writing it here rather than actually saying it to you. Maybe one day I will say these words to you and this is just practice. I don't know.
I'm sorry. I know that it has been hard for you and I know I was so wrapped up in myself that I wasn't there for you. If I could turn back time, I would change how I acted. Hell, if I could turn back time, I would change the whole situation and he would still be here. But he's not.
He's gone. And, yes, I'm sorry for that too. I'm so sorry you didn't get the time with him that you deserved. I miss him more than anything and I know that, despite all of your attitude, you do too. I know this wasn't how it was suppose to be. He was suppose to be here for us. But he's not so we have to be here for each other.
I sorry I didn't see things sooner. I'm sorry I was blind to your pain. I'm sorry I didn't stop it sooner.
Please forgive me.
Killing yourself won't bring him back.
Please get better.

Texas

Better late than never, I guess.
I got back from Texas safe and sound. I had an amazing time but seeing my nephews only reminds me how much I miss them and how I wish they lived closer.
My sister is doing an amazing job raising them and the saddest thing is that I don't think anyone ever reminds her of that. I seriously don't know how she does it all without totally losing her mind. She has so much perseverance and strength to handle all of the things she does on a daily basis.
I love you, Cathy!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Toads and Jello Shots

Hello dear readers. If there is a spelling mistake in this short post, it is because I am typing it on my tiny Centro keyboard and has absolutely nothing to do with the jello shots I just had.
[insert drunk giggles here]
I was totally not "frolicking" on the patio stones, as Cathy puts it. Did I have frowers on my hair or was I wearing fairy wings?
See? No frolicking here.
I just didn't want to step on the frogs with my huge feet.
Oh and "He hates me to death." Hahaha.
How long did it take to read this post because it took me, like, 20 minutes to write it.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Can I get an "Amen"?

Oh, Dear sweet baby Jesus.
Thank you so much for giving me the strength to survive this semester and for giving me the patience to not choke the shit out of anyone.
Yes, that's rights. On Friday morning, as of 11:30am, I was offically done with the Spring 2007 semester.
Right now, it's past midnight and I am still packing for tomorrow morning when I leave for Texas to see my sister. Yay!!! I can't wait to see her and the boys.
But I have alot left to do and I still need to shower.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Evaluate this.

My boss emailed all of the tutors an end of the semester evaluation to fill out. One of the questions asked if I feel comfortable with the other tutors.
What am I suppose to say? "Not really but it's not them, it's me."
I mean, that would be the truth.
I hate feeling this way. I hate going back and forth from feeling totally at home and like I finally found a place where I belong to feeling as if I am some kind of sideshow freak and that I will never feel comfortable with who I am.
Am I losing my mind again?
And the worst part is that I know it is all me. It has nothing to do with them because they have been nothing but nice all semester. I am the one isolating myself and I know that if I were to open up and stopped being so shy and anxious all the time, it would be so much better and that I would have real friends. It is so much easier said than done.

But I will end up lying on the evaluation and saying that I am totally fine with everything and that life is just a bunch of daisies.
I've gotten pretty good at convincing everyone that I am okay. Maybe one day I can convince myself.

The Stuff Fantasies are Made Of.

I just watched the Amy Winehouse video "You Know I'm No Good" and noticed her boyfriend (the guy she is cheating on) for the first time. Seriously, how gorgeous is he?
Oh, Amy, Amy Amy. How could you cheat on him? Plus, the only way you could finish was to think about him. Why cheat in the first place?!??!?!

Monday, May 12, 2008

Updates

*I'm offically out of the "teens". Thank God. They totally sucked. Celebrated with marigaritas and getting a Palm Centro (coolest.phone.ever).
*I'm updating this blog from work because I just finished my Psychology final. One down, three more to go.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Oh, Firefly. When will you learn?

Tomorrow is my last day of classes.
Classes from 7:00am-10:00 and then I am done.
Work from 10:30am -2pm.
Job interview at 2:15pm. Don't worry, it's on campus so I won't be late.
Lunch/dinner with mom and aunt sometime after 3pm.
Turning 20 on Saturday.

Oh and did I mention that I am sick right now and still have a biology project to finish before 7am? I still have 8.5 hours.

No sleep for me tonight.

Thank God this shit is almost over.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Questions

Stolen from Cat's blog. With smart-ass responces by yours truly.

Can you cry under water? Probably but only if you are wearing goggles. Fun fact: You can't see underwater when you open your eyes. You need to have air between your eyeball and the water. But I don't remember where I heard that.
What a great idea for emo kids. Instead of them writing shitty poetry about "walking in the rain" so that no one can see their tear, they can just stay underwater. Preferably for long periods of time. Don't forget your waterproof mascara, bitches.

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Big. Like super big. Like "Carnie Wilson-before-she-had-her-stomach-removed-(or something like that)" big. I think maybe if Angelina Jolie was murdered, they would call it an assassination. But if Jennifer Aniston was murdered, they would say, "OMG, that bitch got shot. I hope they don't play 'Along Came Polly' over and over again."

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Because YOU put your two cents in, and other people want your thoughts. Apparently, you think your thoughts are worth more than they actually are.

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Nope, I plan on trading the dress I am buried in for a white robe, some wings and a halo.

Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Have you ever tried to fold a round box?

What disease did cured ham actually have? Probably VD from all the crazy barnyard sex that pigs have. Ew. VD ham.

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? Apparently the people who first said "slept like a baby" was a society mom and had a nanny raise her child.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Because people are stupid.

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. I think they play "Guess What Kind of Underwear the Patient is Wearing" behind the door. Will it be matching bra and panties or the laundry day mismatched, saggy ass white panties that you bought in bulk for $1 for a pack of thirty.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? I don't know. Why did someone think that pants come in pairs?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Jimmy probably wrote the stupid song because no one cared about him and then he sang the song just to convince people that someone did care.

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Maybe the professor was really a closet idiot who only knew how to do really smart stuff. Kind of like me. When I was 14, I had no idea that when someone asked you if you were cool that they meant were you cool with smoking pot with them or them smoking pot around you. One day, me and a girl I used to know were talking to this guy who lived up the street from me. He asked if I was cool, and I said, "What?" He pulled out a bag of pot and I said, "No, no. We're not cool." Seriously, you have no idea how much it pains me to tell that story.

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Yeah, maybe it has something to do with the view.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

"WTF?" Moments of the Week

  • I cried after watching a Discovery Channel commercial. You know, the one where they all start sing, "I love the whole world," and at the end it says, "The World Is Just Awesome." I'm getting choked up thinking about it now.



    • I came to the realization that I have spent almost $300 on Vera Bradley purses in the past two weeks. To be fair, I did get mom one for Mother's Day.

    • I had a sex dream about V [from V For Vendetta]. I guess it's slightly better than having one about Natalie Portman [although, she was seriously the hottest bald chick ever].

    Tuesday, April 29, 2008

    On the plus side of being a nervous wreck...

    ...I've lost 5lbs. That's always nice. But I think my diet of coffee, sugarfree gum and stress had alot to do with it. I have so much work left to do before I can find the time to breath. I even canceled a gyno appointment today so I could stay home and nap.
    But why would a teacher assign 15 chapters worth of homework? It's totally beyond me.
    Oh and I have to finish my job application by monday as well. I got my referance letters but now I need to type up the cover letter, update my resume, and write the essay they want.

    But on a more positive note, I bought myself a present. It's a sweet-ass Vera Bradley bag. Seriously, the coolest purse/tote ever. I'm getting mom one for mother's Day (the day after my birthday).

    Monday, April 21, 2008

    Timeline.

    May 9th: Last official day of classes for the Spring 2008 semester.
    May 10th: My 20th birthday.
    What I want for my birthday: Three months of peace, quiet, and not having to wake up before 10am.

    Sunday, April 20, 2008

    "The Dream"

    I've rediscovered my love for Shinedown.

    Whisper in the yard and turn the trees all into toys
    Lay there on the ground, and turn the dirt into your joy
    From what I see and what I know, it's all been boring lately
    So I suggest we trade a question mark in for a maybe
    Time your riddles right, and make a point that has no sense
    Make sure that you're smiling, and the money's been well spent
    Innocence and ignorance, it all goes hand in hand
    I'm not sure that I'm right, but I hope you'll understand
    I hope that you're still searching for the start that has no end
    And all the plastic people have now become your friends
    Before you start to drift and your soul begins to scream
    I just wanted to tell you that you're listening to a dream

    Why can't I write like this?

    Back.

    Been gone for a while but I'm back. :) I know you are all thrilled.
    I need to find a new job. I work as a tutor at the college right now but since I am not taking summer classes, I can't work there during the summer. The rules say you have to be in school at least part time to work at the college. But whatever. I'll be back at work in the fall.
    I've noticed a few signs in the area looking for pharmacy techs. Maybe I could do that. The only problem is that I don't have any experience or training, you know, other than doing alot of drugs.

    Monday, March 31, 2008

    The Healing Power of Sleep

    Have you ever just been completely unmotivated to finish something?
    Well, my psychology scrapbook was due Today. I needed to summarizes 20 articles relating to psychology and put them in some kind of creative presentation. It is 15% of my final grade in psych.
    I finished it this morning at 3am.
    Showered and was asleep by 4am.
    And the alarm clock went off at 4:50am.
    Yuck. I mean, I didn't actually get up until 5:30 but still, yuck.
    I didn't even go to work today. I told my boss and she said to go home and get some sleep. Which is exactly what I did.
    Because what good am I as an English tutor if I fall asleep and drool on papers I am suppose to be helping with?

    Monday, March 24, 2008

    Who doesn't love socially relevant vandalism?

    I have never been a big fan of graffiti.
    I don't know about you but I don't think that "G-Unit wuz herrre" spray painted on a wall is a valid form of self expression. I mean, it's like a dog pissing on a tree to mark his territory. I would like to think that, as humans, we are a tad bit more evolved than that.
    But that's not the point.
    Despite my distain for graffiti, I really like Banksy. He's a British street artist and he has some really amazing work.
    Here are a few of my favorites [click for full effect]:


    Sunday, March 23, 2008

    You don't know me!

    A few little known facts about me:
    • I LOVE taking the little plastic screen protectors off of electronics.
    • I really want to smoke pot at Disney World.
    • On of my goals is to see every state...and to leave a dirty limerick in each one of those state's welcome center's sign in book.

    Yeah. I am so lame.

    Nerd.

    x=9.219 cm

    Wednesday, March 19, 2008

    Circles

    There are a lot of things that bother me (global warming, social injustices, Sarah Jessica Parker's face) but I absolutely can not fucking stand it when people uses the expression "360 degree turn". As in, "Oh, he stopped snorting coke off of that hooker's ass and went to priest school. Yeah, it was a real 360 degree turn for him."
    You do not have to be a fucking geometry major to know that 360 degrees is a FUCKING CIRCLE!
    If you did a 360, you would be right back where you fucking started!!!
    Goddamnit.
    That pisses me off so much.

    Saturday, March 15, 2008

    Spring Break

    Yay! Oh thank you, Dear Sweet Jesus.
    Spring Break is finally here.
    As much as I love school [hahaha], I love not being in school even more.
    Plans:
    • I am pretty sure I am going to Texas to see my sister but plans have not be finalized yet.
    • Making lots and lots of paper cranes.
    • Listening to the same song over and over and over again until I hate it...just because I do that sometimes
    • Working on my Psychology Scrapbook
    • Writing Anatomy notes so that I don't fall behind...gawd, I am such a loser

    I'm sure is other stuff that I will be doing. I'll keep ya'll posted. :)

    How the Masses Find Me

    Okay. My favorite so far is "kill you so hard".

    Play that Sad Song

    Why do I listen to music that makes me want to cry?
    Why do you do this to me, The Fray? "How To Save A Life" is so sad, yet irresistible.
    "When You're Gone" is another one. Too bad I hate Avril and her faux punk attitude.

    Saturday, March 08, 2008

    I want. I hate. I need. I fear. I love.

    I totally stole this from Karen (http://mammaren.wordpress.com/).

    I want to have more free time so I can pursue frivolous creative interests that contribute nothing to my education other than to just keep me from having a major freak out.
    I want to write and draw and paint without the little voice in the back of my mind telling me I should be doing homework.
    I want to be more comfortable in my skin and not feel so awkward all the time.
    I want to be proud of my intelligent and my GPA, rather than being ashamed of it.
    I want to be able to say what's really on my mind without fear it will come back and bite me in the ass.
    I want to change the world for the better.
    I want to know and understand everything.
    I want....

    I hate feeling disconnected to God because I don't feel like I am worthy of unconditional love.
    I hate being the center of attention.
    I hate being afraid all the time.
    I hate it when people look at me.
    I hate Introduction to Psychology because most of it is pure bullshit.
    I hate it that my mom feels so overwhelmed all the time and it seems like there is nothing I can do to help her.
    I hate admitting that I can't help someone.
    I hate….

    I need more hours in the day.
    I need a good night's sleep.
    I need a cup of tea.
    I need to get away from my textbooks this weekend but I can't because I won't be able to have any fun knowing that there is a stack of homework waiting for me on my desk.
    I need to relax...but I can't.
    I need to stop caring so much about the future.
    I need to stop caring so much about what other people think because most of them are assholes anyway.
    I need to organize my bedroom and clean my fishtank.
    I need to stop neglecting my family and friends during the school semesters.
    I need….

    I fear almost eveything.
    I fear I am losing my mind.
    I fear that my life will be a waste.
    I fear….

    I love reading poetry while curled up in my bed.
    I love writing beautiful stories.
    I love connecting with people and touching their lives somehow.
    I love my family.
    I love my job and the people I work with.
    I love how it feels when I get off the treadmill smiling even though I am breathless and covered in sweat.
    I love how I look when I actually make an effect to look good.
    I love….

    Tuesday, March 04, 2008

    "I can feel you all around me"

    Take my hand
    I give it to you
    Now you own me
    All I am
    You said you would never leave me
    I believe you
    I believe
    I love Flyleaf.
    But I hate the anatomy lab.
    What am I talking about?
    I don't know anymore.
    I seriously think I am going crazy.

    Friday, February 29, 2008

    The Countdown

    Ten Things to 10 People
    1. After three years, I still miss you.
    2. I don't know what I would do without you.
    3. I wish I would have known you better while I was growing up but I forgive you for not being there because I know it was beyond your control.
    4. I love you but you can't just walk out of my life for four years and then expect to come back and have any say in who I am with or what I do with my life.
    5. Please stay clean. I don't know what I would do if something happened to you.
    6. I don't say it that often but thank you for always being there for me. I know I take you for granted and I'm sorry. I love you.
    7. I just met you but I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
    8. How did we grow so far apart?
    9. I want you to be happy, even if it isn't with me.
    10. Treat him right or I will kill you with my bare hands.

    Nine Things About Me
    1. The very first thing that I do when I get home from school or work is change into my sweats.
    2. I love my job.
    3. Even if I won the lottery, I would still go to school. I would need something to do in between writing poetry at Parisian cafes and studying art in Italy.
    4. I am deathly afraid of geckos.
    5. I don't really like going to movie theaters because I always end up sitting in front of the douchebags throwing popcorn at the screen.
    6. I love reading. Seriously. I love it. My idea of a perfect afternoon is just sitting by a window with a cup of tea and a good book. Nerdy, huh?
    7. I love Greek food.
    8. Canned biscuits scare me. Really. I think that it's the "POP" that freaks me out.
    9. I make and collect prayer beads.

    Eight Ways to My Heart
    1. Make me laugh
    2. Tell me your secrets
    3. Fill the ackward silence
    4. Give me hugs
    5. Talk to me about art and books
    6. Be passionate about something
    7. Take pictures with me
    8. Understand, or at leave least, don't make fun of, my love for Michael Buble

    Seven Things on My Mind
    1. I need to do my homework
    2. I have to clean my fishtank soon
    3. Stephen Lynch is hillarious
    4. I have to wash my dog
    5. I think I have something in my eye
    6. I can't wait for sushi and bowling on Sunday
    7. My stomach hurts.

    Six Fears
    1. My loved ones dying
    2. Not being connected to God
    3. Going to hell
    4. Not being good enough
    5. Dying without having been in love
    6. Germs

    Five Turn Offs
    1. Apathy
    2. Ackward silence
    3. Lack of passion
    4. Stupidity/Ignorance
    5. BO

    Four Turn Ons
    1. Green eyes
    2. British or Austrialian accents
    3. Artists and musicians
    4. Nice smile

    Three Smileys
    1. ^_^
    2. >.<

    1. Write a book
    2. Travel the world

    One Confession
    1. My "ice queen" attitude is just a front to mask my extreme trust issues. At least, that is what my therapist says.

    Thursday, February 28, 2008

    What a Girl Wants

    Yesterday, I talking to *Joe*, one of the other English tutors, while I was getting ready to leave.
    He was talking to *Ebony* when he turned to me and asked if I was married.
    I was a little suprised. I told him I was only 19 and then realized that that didn't mean much because there are 19 year old who are married.
    He said that sometimes he sets people up and if he knows a guy he thinks I might be interested in, he would introduce him to me.
    Um....okay.
    I've never been good with meeting people.
    And I am horrible in relationships.
    But it got me thinking, what do I really want in a relationship? Or more specifially, what do I want in the guy with whom I end up in a relationship?
    Let's see:
    • I think most importantly, I want a best friend. Things can go from there.
    • I need someone who understands me and can put up with me during the times when even I hate myself. He has to understand my anxieties and fears over the stupidest things.
    • I want someone who will give me space when I need it and hold me when I don't.
    • I want someone who would rather rent movies and eat Greek food than go out drinking.

    There are quite a few other things but I simply can not think of them right now.

    Sunday, February 24, 2008

    Book List

    I just realized that, in my last post, I never told you what books I bought from B&N.
    And since I am self absorbed enough to think you actually care, here are my favorites: