Sunday, February 17, 2008

Um...thank you?

Today I went to the library for the first time in months. I've been in school and it's just hard to get away and spend any real time there.
While I was there, I made the mistake of picking up a book called "The Dorm Room Diet".
I'm not sure why.
I don't even live in a dorm...odd, isn't it? I figured that the tips were geared toward college students who spend alot of nights awake studying for huge biology tests that they have at 7am and then Anatomy labs later in the day...what was I talking about?
Oh, diets.
Why is it that once a fat girl picks up a diet book, everyone automatically thinks that they can throw their two cents at her?
[I totally just had a mental picture of someone throwing pennies at me.]
So I'm standing in line to check my stack of books out (mostly about the writing process and poetry).
The guy who is working at the desk starts doing his thing. Open the book. Stick a card in. Put the book under the "price check" think. Runs the book over the sucurity strip. Puts the book back infront of me.
He gets to the diet book and says, in a very loud voice so that everyone behind me can hear, "'Dorm Room Diet', huh? Well, I guess all you have to do is not bring the Mars bars and chips back to your dorm room. Haha."
You would be suprise at how quickly my skin tone turns from it's lovely pale, almost vampiric white to a shade that only occurs in apples or fire engines.
I want to call the guy a jackass but I don't.
He goes on, "You should try the South Beach Diet. It's easy to stay on and you can have piminto cheese [Okay. Seriously, who the fuck eats piminto cheese? Was there something about me that hinted to him that I might like it? What a completely random thing to think of.] in your dorm fridge."
"Okay, thank you."
I quickly got my piles of books and left.

I'm not sure why it frazzled me so much.
Maybe I hate it when people point out my obvious flaws. Or that everyone can see that I'm fat and I don't need someone to actually talk about it because then it makes it okay for other people to talk about it.
It's kind of like talking about the elephant in the room [forgive the pun]. All it takes is for one person to mention it and then everyone's like, "What? An elephant? Hey! It is an elephant. Let's spend the next half hour discussing how the elephant is only like that because it's lazy and how it's costing the tax $100 quadrillion dollars in health care fees."
Or something like that.


Gary.The.MacHero said...

Reasons like that are why I avoid public facilities..

Jordan said...

I loved this because it makes me feel like there are secretly a group of fat people in this world who spend all day not eating trying to loose weight, just hoping that someone will pass them the pimento cheese. Like there's a whole world out there of pimento cheese eaters who are all like "THANK GOD! THIS DIET LETS US EAT PIMENTO CHEESE." And truth be told as long as that world exsists somewhere, I'm totally okay with being fat.