Wednesday, January 16, 2008

So Sleepy

I'm at the school's computer lab right now surrounded by sleep deprived and caffine craving indeviduals attempting to add and drop classes and print assignments. Muy loco.
Speaking of crazy, It's been an absolutely insane couple of days around my house.
My brother has been in the hospital since Sunday night. We are not totally sure what is wrong. The doctors treated it as if it was a cocaine overdose but his tox screen came back clean. Now he's locked in a psych ward and it looks like he'll be there for a while. If ya'll are the praying type, now might be a good time.
My classes are going okay. I'm loving the Biology 101 so far but the Human Anatomy sucks. Just sitting in the lab for 3 hours kills me.
I have to go but more updates later.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

I'm the Best Thing He'll Never Have.

I've been thinking a lot about love. Love. WTF?
Part of me craves the romantic stuff, like cuddling under the stars and moon lite walks on the beach. Call me a cynic but I'm not so sure that kind of love actually exists. Maybe I just need a gay friend to cuddle with. Whatever...off topic.
Maybe the guys on the conspiracy theorists' website are right (scary thought): that love like that is a product of the greeting card companies to promote their products and portray unrealistic romantic ideals.:::sign:::I mean, I suppose a woman would be lucky simply to find a man that knows to take his shoes off before he gets into bed. I mean, what the hell is up with that? Do they have any idea what kind of stuff they step in everyday. I'm sorry but I do think I have the right to yell at you if you decide to sprawl out on my bed wearing you disgusting shoes with the sloppy laces and the germ orgy on the soles. Yuck.
What was I talking about?
Oh yeah. Love.
Love is just.....so......I don't know.
It makes perfectly rational people turn into complete asses. Why? WHY?
Okay. Take me. Right now I am sitting in my bedroom, listening to "I Need A Hero" from Shrek 2 for about the fiftieth time. Yeah. It's not pretty. I'm even singing. So very sad.
Around the 12th time, I started thinking of the...what do you call them? They were never actual boyfriends so they are not ex's. 'Couldhavebeen's? 'Almostwere's?
Whatever.
The latest "could-have-been-if-he-wasn't-such-a-complete-and-total-dick", let's just call him Brad to save time, really got to me. Not that I would ever give him the satisfaction of knowing that, though.I mean, do all men have that need for superiority over women?
It's like he needed me to need him, to be some stupid weak bimbo that couldn't figure out how to work a toaster (or something like that).
I am just so sick of trying to stifle myself to conform to what a man wants.
Screw it.
That's my New Year's resolution. No more conforming or changing for anyone other than myself. I'm going to be the strong, witty, intelligent woman that I am without having to worry that it will intimidate the men with the preexisting inferiority complex.

Ugh.

I feel a little bit better. Even managed to take Blue for a short walk.
Lee is feeling the sickness too (or maybe he's just tired from a long night with his PS3). I mean, it's 3:30 in the afternoon and he is still in bed but I guess I can't say much about it considering I didn't get up until noon.
I wouldn't be able to sleep in that late for a while. Friday, I have to attend a financial aid and student worker orientation at the school and then classes start on Monday.
I'm actually looking forward to my classes this semester:
Biology 101 - 7am (!!!)
Psych 101 - 8am
Algebra - 9am
Intro to Anatomy and Physiology - M&W 10am-1pm

Why do I all of a sudden have a terrible feeling that I am going to regret that 7am class?

2007: The year in Review

So. A new year. A new me, right?
I don't know. 2007 wasn't great but it wasn't completely dreadful either.
On the positive side, I started college in the spring semester and ended it with a 4.0. I overcame a lot of my anxieties about meeting new people and life in general (I'm not totally cured but I am getting there). A guy show romantic interest in me (there's some hope for me after all). I went to New Mexico. I decided what I want to do with the rest of my life. I had some great classes in the fall semester and came out with a 4.0. I was hired for a job that I start in a week.
As of the negatives, the guy that liked me turned out to be really creepy and there was no way I wanted that kind of drama in my life. (This caused me to lose a bit of my faith in men. Is there anyone out there for me?) After spending a few months in TX, *Lee* was put into a mental hospital/drug treatment program and I was so freaked out about that I started losing my hair. My nephew was diagnosed with epilepsy and continues to suffer from the medication he has to take. This caused untold amounts of stress for my sister. I wish there was something I could do to help.
So yeah.

Dear 2008,
Please be gentle.
All the best,
*Firefly*