Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Did I really just say that?

"Yeah. I found some pictures of Dragon Fruit plants. It says they were taken in San Diego but there are a lot of Asian people in these photos. Maybe they were taken in San Diego, Asia. Is there such a place? They have a Paris, Texas and a Lebanon, Pennsylvania."

Is that racist or just stupid? Because I was told Dragon Fruit only grow in Asia and that is why you never see them in the states.

Hmmm.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Probability of X and....something

I'm fairly sure this exact question will be on my statistics text tomorrow:

If, on a farm. there are 12 cows; 4 chickens; and one emu, find the following:
A. How long can the farmers wife bake a loaf of bread before burning it.
B. How much tea cost in China.
C. The Meaning of Life.
D. The probability that you will pass this test.

Three weeks of school left; only 5 days of class left though.
Oh and I saw 45 mintues worth of the show 24 tonight. I totally get it now.

How do I love you? Let me count the ways.


Dear New Purse,
I love you. No, seriously. From the moment I laid eyes on you in the middle of a crowded Target, I just knew I had to have you.
I swear it'll be different with you. Yeah, I've cheated on every other bag I have had before you but this is different! My Vera Bradley is great but she is more of a tote for books. All the others; they were nice but it was always something off about them. Too big, too small, not enough zippers, too many snaps. But you are perfect the way you are. You hold my books and folders and my notebook and you even have a pocket on the outside for my phone...which never fits in the so called cell phone pockets. And the little zipper pocket; great for my Burt's Bees and inhaler.
This is totally the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Love you,
Firefly

PS- I hope you are not the jealous type. The Jansport stays. I'll sure you will get along...kind of like polygamous wives...only, you know, bags.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

It's Miley!

I don't care who you are or where you are from. Hannah Montana shirts should never, ever be available in adult sizes. Someone people explain this to the people at the local Walmart because, some how, it's just not getting through to them.

Also, it is almost 9:20 on a Thursday night. There are midnight showing of Twilight that are going to start in about 2.5 hours. If you are at a midnight showing of Twilight, I hope you get pneumonia. There isn't even a joke in there anywhere. I hope you get fucking pneumonia.
That is all.

For some reason, I am just full on condescension and malice tonight. Xanax must not have kicked in yet.

Friday, November 14, 2008

TV Rots Your Brain

I watch a whole documentary on corn last night. Corn. To make matters worse, I watch it again when it came on three hours later.
What the fuck is wrong with me?

Thursday, November 13, 2008

ShamWow!

Dear Vince from ShamWOW!,
Your headset makes you look like a douchenozzle.
All the best in your future endeavors,
Firefly

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

*&%^

Okay, Douchebag. You are officially on my shitlist.
I tolerated your complete and total arrogance because I figured, "Whatever. We work together. What can I do about it?"
I thought maybe that was just the way you are because you are trying to prove how important you are or as a defense mechanism because you have no friends or some other psychobabble reason.
Today, I realized that you are just an asshole.

Him: So, Firefly, I've got a joke for you.
Me: I'm not going to go to hell for laughing at it, am I?
Him: No, no, no. So what do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Me:...
Him: You hit her.
Me:...
Him:...
Me: Yeah. Not funny.
Him: Oh, okay. Well Maybe we can change it up to work for you. Um...what do you do when your provider..
Me: No. I make my own money.
Him: Okay. What do you do when the person who's car you drive..
Me: No. Doesn't work either.
Him: What do you..
Me: Yeah. You should probably walk away now...
Him: {walks away}

Oh and another gem of his: "I can't talk politics with guys because I get angry at them but I'm okay doing it with girls because I think, 'Oh, that's so cute. She has an opinion.'"

Fucktard.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Stuck.

Hello, my faithful readers. I haven't the faintest idea as to why all of you still hang around. Must be the prospect of me actually having something remotely interesting or even [gasp!] articulate to say.
I don't think I can describe exactly how I am feeling right now.
Tired. Wired. Twired. Like physical exhaustion but with a racing mind, thinking of all of the things that I need to get done.
I have so much to do and the amount of time that I have to do it in is rapidly decreasing.
I want to get out of here for a while but that's just not possible right now. Neither the time nor the resources are there.
I just need to hold it together for just a little while longer.

Thank you.

Thank you so much anonymous A&P professor. The last thing I would ever want to do (besides see anyone from ICP naked) is call some of my classmates stupid. But since you did it, it's okay.

I grade my students' work because they need to know if they are getting the material. I need to know if they are getting the material. The programs my students apply to need to know if the students got the material. As an anatomy/physiology instructor my job is to both teach and screen. There are WAY TOO MANY students out there trying to be nurses and FAR TOO FEW that actually have the intelligence, drive, and reasonable expectations to be a nurse. The waiting list for nursing schools in my area is 3-4 years for the CC track for an RN (registered nurse degree) and highly competitive if you want to bypass the CC and get a BSN (bachelor's in the science of nursing) at the local university. Some students really want to be nurses, but don't have "it." I won't let sloppily assigned grades be a crutch for some to student hobbling his or her way through prerequisites. If a student is failing my course that is a clear sign that destiny has another path in store for the student. I don't want idiot nurses. Do you?
EDIT: I should probably mention this is from Rate Your Students as a response to the question, "Why do we grade?"


Thursday, November 06, 2008

UpperCase

OH MY GOD. I GOT A 82/100 ON MY ANATOMY TEST THAT I WAS SURE I FAILED. I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY RIGHT NOW AS YOU CAN TELL FROM MY USE OF ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.