Saturday, February 07, 2009

Finally Home

Have you ever had a song stop you in your tracks? That happened today.
It is so odd to hear your thoughts be song to a melody. 
These are the first few lyrics of "Finally Home" by MercyMe.

I'm gonna wrap my arms around my daddy's neck
And tell him that I've missed him
And tell him all about the man that I became
And hope that it pleased him 

I know that they are talking about God but it reminds me so much of my dad. I miss him so much somedays that it physically hurts. He was far from perfect but he was my dad and I can't help but wonder how things would have turned out for my family if he were still around. 
I just want to know what he would say about everything that is going on. And I do wonder if he would be proud of me for the person I am becoming. I know I have done nothing to think that he wouldn't but I so desperately want to hear it from him even though I know that that will never happen. 
Do you want to know the worst part?
I don't remember the sound of his voice. It has only been four and a half years. Once in a while, I can imagine it but it is just fading away slowly. I am so scared for the day that I won't be able to remember what he looked like without a photograph to remind me. 


Jordan said...

I'm so happy to see something like this from you. THIS IS THE KIND OF POST THE WORLD WANTS. I like when people share their inner most thoughts. No one should loose a parent so early in life, and for that I am truly sorry. But I think that as long asyou remember the way he made you feel when he was around I think you'll be okay. As long as you can remember the kind of person he was, and the things he taught you I think you'll be fine.

And I downloaded it, it's a beautiful song.

Firefly said...

Thank you, Jordan. I needed tp hear that.