Nursing school letters should arrive sometime next week and I wanted to write this before I received mine; just to document my feeling regardless of whether I am accepted or not.
It feels like I am at the edge of something huge. It is exhilarating and terrifying at the same time that something as simple as a letter in the mail has the power to change the course of my life.
Part of me wants this more than anything. I want to walk with a purpose and the knowledge that can help save some one's life. I want to sign my name followed by RN. I want to have a degree that is VALUABLE and in demand and that I can take anywhere and get a job.
But there is another part too. A tiny voice in the back of my mind that keeps whispering, "Do you really think you can handle this?" And the truth is that I just don't know if I can.
How pathetic is that? That I haven't even started yet and I already sound like I am ready to take myself out of the game just because I am scared.
I have busted my ass for the past two years on the prereqs for this. I have dealt with the hurricanes and mom's abusive boyfriend and I have still end up with a 3.89 GPA and three semesters on the Dean's list, and yet I feel completely unprepared for what the future has in store for me.