Friday, October 23, 2009

Just Say It

I have been lying to you all. In real life, I am nothing like this. I am shy and quiet and 9 times out of 10, I keep my mouth shut even when I want to say something really, really badly. But every now and then, you just have to get a few things off your chest, you know? I guess the time is now.
  • When I am as old as you, I pray to God in heaven that I am not nearly as bitter. I am so sorry that you hate everything and everyone. And I am especially sorry that you feel this uncontrollable desire to tell me all about it. Might I suggest you try medication?
  • When you ask me what I made on a test and I say, "I passed," that is not an invitation to seek more information. It is none of your business and the only reason you want to know is so that you can either A) Gloat about making a high grade or B) Talk shit about me to your friends about how I have no social life and spend all my time studying. Either way, fuck you.
  • You are a crazy bitch and I love you for it. I am so glad you and I are in the same group because, when the shit hits the fan, you're the girl I want on my side.
  • The thought of you being a nurse and actually taking care of another human being fucking terrifies me. I wouldn't trust you with a goldfish and the instructors are actually going to let you give shots?!?
  • You have no idea how much easier it is being in the nursing skills lab at 8am when I see you are there. I like you. I mean, I really like you. And I want to tell you but I think I might scare you away. Plus, I want you to teach me to play Halo.
  • You needed to be screened for dementia. I mean this it all seriousness because it worries me that you are teaching us. Plus, you scare the shit out of everyone.
  • Screw what your in-laws say. They suck and everyone knows you are a great mom. ;-)

[I might start doing this kind of post regularly. What do you think?]

2 comments:

Jordan said...

This actually reminds me of this mental health exercise I heard about once. I'd like to say that I read it in some medical journal or something but more than likely I heard it on a rerun of Golden Girls. But anyway you're supossed to write a letter to someone that you never intend to send. Just say everything you could want to say to them. Put it in an envelope and throw it away. It's supossed to be freeing I think. I've done something similar to this on my blog I think. I can't remember.

Firefly said...

I need all the mental health help I can get. It is a bit liberating to get that off my chest.
Plus, the Golden Girls is where I get my best advice. Well, that and Disney/Pixar movies. Remember, just keep swimming. ;)