Sunday, June 21, 2009
But I'm okay.
It was a good day. I had a few tears this morning but it was fine. To be perfectly honest, this whole weekend they have been catching me by surprise.
A very dear family friend took us to see Year One [which was just dumb, by the way. I mean, I can laugh at a dumb comedy, like Tropic Thunder, which I loved. But this was awful...2 stars...at the most...and that was only because of Michael Cera's observational humor] and then to dinner. Aside from my brother throwing a fit and cursing me out in the restaurant for telling the bartender that he is only 18 and, therefore, can't legally be served alcohol, it was a nice time.
Part of me knows that my dad wouldn't want me to be crying about him every holiday. But I'm not crying FOR him. I know he is happy were he is now. It may be selfish but I'm crying for me and all the time I have lost with him. It just feels like so many things were left undone. I guess it has just been especially hard lately because I wanted him to be here with me and to see how far I have come from were I was to now.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Okay, now that I have calmed down, I can actually write.
It is not actually "official" yet. The wording on the letter says, "You have been tentatively accepted into the Associates of Science in Nursing Degree Program at [Firefly's college], pending approval by the Louisiana State Board of Nursing."
Basically, that means, over the course of the next week and a half, I have to:
- Sign and hand deliver the confirmation letter
- Pay the LSBN $20 to even consider letting me near a human as a student nurse
- Submit a disclosure form saying I am not a sociopath or a criminal
- Get fingerprinted by the police and submit that the nursing coordinators (the same lady who said I would have "plenty" of time to finish all this)
- Pay the Louisiana Department of Public Safety $42.25 to preform a background check.
Did I also mention that the 6 week courses start on Monday, and that I will be in classes four days a week, all day?
Well, at least uniforms don't have to be bought until July 17 and the CPR certification, drug screening, physical and professional liability insurance can wait until July 31.
Again, what have I gotten myself into?
Friday, June 12, 2009
Sunday, June 07, 2009
It feels like I am at the edge of something huge. It is exhilarating and terrifying at the same time that something as simple as a letter in the mail has the power to change the course of my life.
Part of me wants this more than anything. I want to walk with a purpose and the knowledge that can help save some one's life. I want to sign my name followed by RN. I want to have a degree that is VALUABLE and in demand and that I can take anywhere and get a job.
But there is another part too. A tiny voice in the back of my mind that keeps whispering, "Do you really think you can handle this?" And the truth is that I just don't know if I can.
How pathetic is that? That I haven't even started yet and I already sound like I am ready to take myself out of the game just because I am scared.
I have busted my ass for the past two years on the prereqs for this. I have dealt with the hurricanes and mom's abusive boyfriend and I have still end up with a 3.89 GPA and three semesters on the Dean's list, and yet I feel completely unprepared for what the future has in store for me.