Friday, October 30, 2009

Logic

I remember reading somewhere that red wine is good for the heart and that having a glass every night is beneficial because of the antioxidants and all those yummy flavonoids or resveratrols or whatever they are called. Now, I am no mathematician but if you drink one glass of red wine a night for a week, that is 7 glasses. Correct? So I should be able to drink 7 glasses of red wine tonight and still have the same benefits.
That Intro to Logic class sure did pay off.

Quote of the Day (II)

Upon leaving the hospital after our clinicals were over on Wednesday, a patient asked, "What the red for?" in reference to our red uniform scrubs.
"We are nursing students. The red is like a big warning sign telling everyone that we know just enough to get us into trouble but not enough to actually help anyone."
A little bit of knowledge can be a dangerous thing.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

First Clinical Day

I'd like to start off by saying that my alarm went off at 4:30 this morning (0430...Oh, what, no she didn't just use military time! Yes. Yes, she did.) so if this post makes no fucking since, that is why.
I got to the hospital at 0630 and started my clinical. It went pretty well.
Here's the problem: I want to tell you all about it, but I don't think I can. My mind keeps going back to articles I have read about nursing students getting kicked out of their programs for accidentally letting patient info slip, even if it was just the number of children they have or what their diagnosis was. So, mums the word.
I will tell you that I got to watch my partner put a Foley catheter in our patient. He did so well and I was really proud of him. :-) Hopefully, I will get my chance to do one next week. My luck, I'll end up messing it up somehow. Haha.

3rd exam tomorrow and about half a dozen med sheets, care plans, and nursing dications to do what the weekend looks free. I think a Harry Potter movie marathon might be in the cards. :)

Oh and I told one of my classmates how much I hate calling patients "clients" and he agreed that it makes us sound like hookers. We might as well start calling them "johns."
I probably just set the profession of nursing back by at least 50 years with the previous statement. Let's see if we can make it 100 years next time, shall we?

Monday, October 26, 2009

Quote of the Day

*Upon turning in an assignment*
Professor: Why do you look so flustered?
Me: That's how I look all the time.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Are they trying to kill us?

Times like this make me wish I had just gone to art school. Seriously.
This up coming week is going to be absolutely crazy.
Monday: Cultural report due. Seriously? I'm a 21 year old white girl that was born and raised in the south. And I have a feeling that when the teacher is asking about our culture, she expects to hear about more than just LSU football and gumbo.
Tuesday: Getting my hair cut (finally) and going to the hospital to get info on my patient....ahmmm...."client" (okay, calling them a client kind of makes me feel like a hooker). The rest of the day will be spent writing up care plans and medication cards. Sounds like so much more fun that it actually is.
Wednesday: In the hospital from 6am to 12:30pm. Then back to the school to study.
Thursday: Huge test in Fundamentals...med administration, pain management, nutrition, and about half a dozen other topics. 16% of our overall grade for the semester.

If I survive this week, I am going out this coming weekend. Or I might just stay in and drink by myself. Either way works for me.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Current Playlist

"So, *Firefly,* because you are so interesting and beautiful and talented, what music are you currently listening to?"

Why, thank you for asking, voice in my head. You have gotten much politer since the lobotomy.
Here it is:

O Shot - The Gay Blades
Fave lyrics: O Shot, You never got caught
And even if you did you're causing no harm.
Why do you love it:They are called The Gay Blades. How could you not like a band like that? Plus, their album cover is of a pirate ship being attacked by a ghost. Yes. That is correct. Ghost pirates.

1901 - Phoenix
Fave lyrics: Lie down you know it's easy
Like we did it over summer long

Why do you love it: This song got me through more microbiology study sessions than I care to remember over the summer.

I've Got Your Number - Passion Pit
Fave lyrics: And if all else fails then the ship won’t set sail.
God forbid but I guess the both of us will bail.
But as far as I can tell I think things will be swell.
Why do you love it: I swear that it sounds like the red lips from the Rocky Horror Picture Show are singing this song. And that is just great.

In For The Kill - La Roux
Fave lyrics: I hang my hopes out on the line
Will they be ready for you in time
If you leave them out too long
They'll be withered by this song
Why do you love it: British electrica music song by an androgynous redheaded chick. What's not to love? Plus, it sounds like music you could get busy to, which is always lovely.

I Bet You Look Good On The Dance Floor - Arctic Monkeys
Fave lyrics: Well I bet that you look good on the dance floor
Dancing to electro-pop like a robot from 1984
from 1984!
Why do you love it: This song randomly cycled into the shuffle on my Ipod and I cannot even explain why I like it so much. I think I am just in the mood for something a little bit more fun than my usual tunes.

Sandstorm - Darude
Fave lyrics: No lyrics...just techno beats.
Why do you love it: It one of those "treadmill songs" that just follows when you are not exercising and you find yourself dancing to it throughout the day. Listen to it loud enough and it will give you an irregular heartbeat (aka an arrhythmia). If you had to choose a way to die, a techno-induced heart attack would be high on the list.

Unbreakable - Fireflight
Fave lyrics: God, I want to dream again. Take where I've never been.
I want to go there. This time I'm not scared
Now I'm unbreakable, it's unmistakable
Why do you love it: It's like the girly version of "Eye of the Tiger". It is also a pretty good way to pump yourself up for those shitty 8am labs.

Just Say It

I have been lying to you all. In real life, I am nothing like this. I am shy and quiet and 9 times out of 10, I keep my mouth shut even when I want to say something really, really badly. But every now and then, you just have to get a few things off your chest, you know? I guess the time is now.
  • When I am as old as you, I pray to God in heaven that I am not nearly as bitter. I am so sorry that you hate everything and everyone. And I am especially sorry that you feel this uncontrollable desire to tell me all about it. Might I suggest you try medication?
  • When you ask me what I made on a test and I say, "I passed," that is not an invitation to seek more information. It is none of your business and the only reason you want to know is so that you can either A) Gloat about making a high grade or B) Talk shit about me to your friends about how I have no social life and spend all my time studying. Either way, fuck you.
  • You are a crazy bitch and I love you for it. I am so glad you and I are in the same group because, when the shit hits the fan, you're the girl I want on my side.
  • The thought of you being a nurse and actually taking care of another human being fucking terrifies me. I wouldn't trust you with a goldfish and the instructors are actually going to let you give shots?!?
  • You have no idea how much easier it is being in the nursing skills lab at 8am when I see you are there. I like you. I mean, I really like you. And I want to tell you but I think I might scare you away. Plus, I want you to teach me to play Halo.
  • You needed to be screened for dementia. I mean this it all seriousness because it worries me that you are teaching us. Plus, you scare the shit out of everyone.
  • Screw what your in-laws say. They suck and everyone knows you are a great mom. ;-)

[I might start doing this kind of post regularly. What do you think?]

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I'm Glad I could Clear this up for You.


Thanks Mom

We had unit orientation at the hospital today. I'll skip the boring parts to tell you that I was super duper excited to start dealing with clients (calling them "patients" undermines their autonomy or some psycho babel bullshit like that) next week.
Well, I was excited.
Enter: my mother.
"Now, *Firefly,* don't be nervous. Because if you are nervous while putting a catheter in a male, your hands will be shaking which might cause....well....you know...he could....um....rise to attention."
My mother just cautioned me against giving a guy an erection while putting in a catheter. Thank you, mom. I'm pretty sure once the tube is being pushed in, he won't be nearly as happy about it.
I was totally fine with starting clinicals. Now I am nervous about being nervous.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Sexy. Right?

I am not sure if it is something in the water or if nursing school is just a HUGE turn-on, but it seems as if half my classmates are getting married or having babies.
It is so odd. There has been no less than 10 weddings since the start of the semester and at least 3 of my classmates are with child. One of my male classmates just found out that his girlfriend is expecting (his, I presume).
I told this classmate that, when we start doing clinical at the hospital, I plan on standing near the X-ray machine for about an hour a shift in the hopes that my eggs will fry before they have a chance to be fertilized. He said that he wished he had thought of that.

Oh, and how is nursing school not a turn on? I mean, those sexy ill-fitting scrubs. The white orthopedic shoes. That's hot [sorry for channeling Paris Hilton].
Yep. Gone are the days of the nursing uniform that inspired the Hot Topic Halloween costumes.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Love it.

♥ I have fallen in love with the singer Amy Kuney. Her voice is beautiful and her lyrics are simply gorgeous. Listen to the songs "Thank You (For Last Night)" and "Appreciate Your Hands". "Birds' Eye View" is another good one.
♥ Go to either YouTube or Playlist.com. Search for "Sandstorm". Click the one by Darude. Be ready for amazing techno and then dance that shit out.
MyLifeIsAverage [MLIA]. I want to be friends with all of these people. Approximately 500 trillion times better than FML.
Kusudama Tutorial. Coolest, easiest paper flowers ever.
♥ I have to mention that I am absolutely loving the weather in Louisiana this weekend. It has been so sunny and the temperature is starting to drop. It feels amazing. I think a nice cup of tea would be the perfect way to end it. :)


Friday, October 16, 2009

Dream

I had the strangest dream last night...well...it was strange for me because I know the people involved. My whole nursing class was at a bowling alley singing and dancing. It was like High School Musical Hell.
The next day the SNA president was wearing a really tight shirt and being a bouncer outside the lecture hall door When everyone was inside, he danced his way to his seat.
There was also something about pickles but I have no idea what.

I think I might need to stop studying so much before bed.

#2

I just came to the realization that yesterday I spent two hours in a lecture hall listening to a professor talk about poop (The actual title: Bowel Elimination). This also included a very specific description of what happens when a patient has a stoma and eats Mexican food.
Then I ate a burrito (ha) while I wrote a paper on why marijuana should be legalized for my sociology class.
How is this now my life?

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

How did we get here?


Biology is my first love.
It is so odd to me that I somehow ended up choosing nursing as a major rather than biology. Growing up, when other little girls wanted to be ballerinas or teachers, I wanted to study frogs in Costa Rica. Even in my Anatomy and Physiology classes, when other people just wanted to pass, I always wanted to know the why and the how behind everything. My only regret about it is that we didn't have more time to spend studying those things. We talked about all the different cells or tissues as if they were some kind of alien things instead of part of us.
I'm not really sure what is making me nostalgic right now. I think it might be that my first round of clinicals are coming up in two weeks and I will be dealing with real live patients.
It is starting to freak me out a bit and I am beginning continuing to wonder if I made the right choice.

It's all Blue Skies

♥ I made a B on my second nursing exam (90%).
♥ New sexy, retro glasses = I can see and I look good.
♥ I have a dosage calculations exam tomorrow that I am pretty sure I will totally kick ass on.