Sunday, May 30, 2010

Rule #1: Don't get attached.

I cannot sleep.
For the past two weeks, I have been restless and irritated....on edge. Maybe I just miss seeing my "nursing school" pals everyday because we have all been busy with life and work and doing things we didn't have time for during the semester (Like re-watching seasons 1 and 2 of The Tudors...way better than anything I was taught in European history). Maybe I am developing a tolerance to my antidepressants and need to have them increased.
Or it could be something else.
WhatsHisName hasn't tried to call or text me since we last saw each other except for to ask if I made it to class the next morning and to tell me he had fun.
I know that it was just a hookup and there was no reason to have expect anything at all to come of it but it still kind of sucks. Mostly because of the realization that instead of him being my "booty call," I was his.
I keep thinking I did something wrong or said something stupid even though it shouldn't matter to me because we were just going to have some fun.
And I don't really even think it is him not calling that bothers me as much as the tiny voice in the back of my head that is still holding onto the "good Christian morals" I was raised on that keeps telling me I am a whore. Because I knew that there was nothing really between us and I was okay with it.
Whatever. It is probably the antidepressants that have me feeling this way.

See?!? This is why I shouldn't have too much free time. I spend too much of it thinking about stupid shit like this and getting myself worked up over nothing.

2 comments:

Della said...

I am just like that too .. too much time and I think way way too much!! Ha Ha!! I am sorry about whathisname. It seems like you care about him from the few blog entries I have read. I had a guy like that in my life before.. Am I ever so glad that he disappeared! I could actually sleep at night then!! Well goodluck and I am gonna follow u. Seems interesting!! By the way, I am waiting to hear if I got accepted into nursing school now!!

Anonymous said...

think about it in reverse like he was all over you making you miserable. single is not a bad thing babe. your free to do as you choose and dont have to deal with the bull.

ultracool works on staying pretty relaxed through minimizing my life and not paying attention to the stupid shit. i've also been tired sue to work which ffg dislikes but bills must be paid.

stay cool, ultracool flipflop guy