Tuesday, June 29, 2010


Hello my loves
shall we get started?
I'll go first
  • Is anyone else besides me geeking out over the new Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows trailer? I seriously cannot wait for November. Til then, I will reread the books. [sigh]
  • My natural curiosity is starting to get me into trouble. Google is just an enabler. I swear. It is really scary how much you can find out about someone by just knowing their name. I might have found an old flame's home address. Opps? The worst part? The old flame lives a bit too close for comfort to the new flame's favorite hangout. Just pray they don't start trading stories.
  • For the love of God, don't Google the term "figging." Just trust me on this one, okay?
  • Also, please don't ask me how I know not to Google the term "figging." [blush]
  • This picture of a drunk seagull makes me smile. Mostly because he looks like he is having a great time from just half a beer. It also makes me feel like less of an alcoholic. ;-)

Monday, June 28, 2010


Because, honestly, who doesn't like to be reminded that they are good-looking?

accidentally amazing

hello my darlings
I have been feeling a tad bit down lately
so to cheer myself up, may I present


accidentally amazing: Or 10 reasons why Firefly is awesome

1. I am loyal, trustworthy, and I’ll take your secrets to the grave.
2. I give a really great massage.
3. I have a pretty good memory. Details usually don’t escape me.
4. I read people very well, and tend to notice things about them that others might over look.
5. I am a fabulous cook.
6. I am really accepting of others.
7. Once I set my mind to something, I am going for it.
8. I am not usually afraid of making a fool of myself if it means making someone I care about smile.
9. I have my witty moments.
10. I am secretly a pretty awesome belly-dancer.

So, why are you accidentally amazing?

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Summer 2010 Playlist

I know. I know. It is a really weird combination of country and pop. Old and new.

Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones

Kid Rock - All Summer Long [This is a classic and will probably be on every one of my summer playlists for the rest of my life. At least, until I get sick of it.]

Zac Brown Band - Toes [Tropically vacation music. Love it.]

Lady GaGa - Alejandro [Simply because she is Gaga and I love her.]

Joe Nichola - Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off [Do I really have to explain this pick? Margaritas, baby.]

Katy Perry - California Gurls [It's the song of the summer. Only slightly less mind-numbing than "Imma Be" by Black Eyed Peas.]

Kenny Chesney - Summertime [Another summer classic.]

3OH!3 Feat. Katy Perry - Starstrukk [Have I mentioned how much I love poppy dance music? That should be obvious by now. As much as I like to hate on 3Oh!3, ("Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips"? Fuck you.) this song totally delivers.]

Brad Paisley - Water [It's not really summer without a little fun in the water, is it?]

Jimmy Buffett - Beach House on the Moon [Reminds me of a when I was a young teenager and my parents would take us out to their camp on the Atchafalaya River. There were many nights that the only sounds you would hear on the river, besides the occasional growl of an alligator, would be Jimmy Buffet and Santana being blasted from the sound system.]

Lady Antebellum - Lookin' for a Good Time [A great song to play pool to.]

Tenacious D - Tribute [I have always loved this song and just found it on my ipod again.]

Theory of a Dead Man - Bad Girlfriend [Another great song to play pool to.]

Rocky Horror Picture Show - Sweet Transvestite [Ha. This really isn't my story to tell as to why this song reminds me of summer. He would never forgive me if I told. Let's just say it involves a night in New Orleans last summer and a few too many Hurricanes.]

30 Seconds to Mars - Bad Romance cover [I love this song all year long. If I could, I would make babies with this song just so this song is forced to see me all the time.]

Reba McEntire - Consider Me Gone [Simply because I love the line "If you don't get drunk on my kiss".]

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


I have not been doing enough in the past few weeks to warrant a proper blog update so i suppose this quickie is all ya'll get for the time being:
  • Why do I have three bottles of hand sanitizer on my desk? Seriously. It is starting to get a little ridiculous.
  • Can I tell you guys how much I love Blogger's new template designer? It is pretty damn cool. Don't be surprised if every time you visit this page for the next month, there is a new design. It takes me a while to figure out what I like.
  • I decided not to do any classes over the summer. This is the first time in three years that I have had the summer free so I guess that it means I actually have to get [:::gasp:::] a job. And because most of the hospitals in my area are currently in a hiring freeze, it looks like my options are pretty limited.
  • As much as I love my brothers, I need to move the fuck out of this house. Honestly. Living with them is a nightmare. You would think a 19 year old and a 26 year old would be so damn stupid, but alas, they are. Not just stupid; but angry, occasionally violent, and just a total drag to be around. No wonder I need to be on fucking antidepressants.
  • I just realized that Excredrin Extra Strength contains the exact same amount of acetaminophen, aspirin, and caffeine as Excerdrin for Migraines. Mmm. Clever.
  • I have been on a country music kick the past few months (blame it on one of the girlfriends), so don't be surprised if the summer playlist I post (eventually....hopefully before summer is over) has a lot of that kind of music on it.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Oh, little Palm Centro, why do you hate me so?

I'd like to start this post off my apoligizing to anyone who has received an odd text message from me in the past two months or so as I am rapidly becoming convince that my phone either:
A. Hates me
B. Is possessed by the devil

It seems that lately, my phone is taking the most suggestive of my text messages and sending them to the wrong people. Yeah.
The text messages are in no way illicete or anything (or contain pictures, thank god) but when taken out of context and sent at 1am, one could make alternative assumations about what I mean when I tell someone "Thanks for the offer but I don't think my bed can hold more than two of us comfortably." For the record, the the girl's dog just had puppies and she wanted to know if I would like one.

But then again, it could be me not being careful enough about who I send messages to.

Monday, June 07, 2010


I love this song.

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

Hurt - Johnny Cash

Sunday, June 06, 2010


I feel like I have written this post half a million times before already. I am sure if I actually took the time and care to look, I could find at least six more like it on this blog.
Yes. It's going to be one of those posts where I bitch and moan and feel sorry for myself.
Feel free to exit now if you must.

I just want to get away from here. I want to get in the car and drive. It doesn't matter which direction I go or where I end up as long as no one there knows my name or any thing about me. I don't want to be me anymore.
I could make up a new identity, a new name, a new story. I could be a farmer's daughter from Kansas. I could dye my hair purple and work in a little coffee shop. Or I could be a librarian (books always made me happy) . I could start wearing dresses, and big floppy hats and sunglasses that take up half my face and make everyone think that I am mysterious and interesting...or tragically without fashion sense. I could be someone new....someone better. Someone who wasn't so fucked up or damaged.

I just don't want to be any one's "project". I don't want to need fixing.

But the thing is that I know no matter where I go or who I try and convince myself that I am, my problems would just follow me there because I as learned last week, I cannot get away from problems that exist in my head.

I am so fucking sick of being nervous all the time. It is as if I am always waiting for the sky to fall, the next crisis or train wreck. I cannot simply relax and enjoy the quiet moment because it is in the quiet moments that the events that have had the most impact on my life have occurred.
I hate the quiet. I never realized that before.

Thursday, June 03, 2010

It looks like I just picked a whole bouquet of Oopsy-Daisies.

I screwed up. Again.
Or at least, it feels like it.
I saw WhatsHisName last night. I know, I know. It was stupid and dumb and I shouldn't have and I said I wouldn't but I did.
I was out with a girlfriend (two for one margaritas? Yes, please. Top-shelf. Frozen. Extra shot of tequila. Thanks.) and one of his friends texted her that they where out. After awhile of them texting back and forth, WhatsHisName texted me and asked where I was. I told him, not thinking anything of it because I knew that they were probably across town and went back to my pool game (that I was losing tragically thanks to the table being cursed).
But sure enough, he showed up.
I won't bored you with all the sordid details. There was music, dancing, a few more games of pool, a few more drinks, and eventually last call (yeah...at 2am).
In the parking lot, he told me he had to be at work for 7am so we spend the next half an hour kissing each other goodbye.

See?!?!? We didn't do anything! I didn't even blackout this time so I remember everything that happened.
Why the fuck do I feel so damn guilty about this then?
Why can't I take a shot or make out with a guy without feeling so dirty about it?

Ya gotta love that pastor's daughter guilt.

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

The Good and Bad of It

  • Home safe and sound from my long weekend in Pensacola
  • Get to see the best friend/partner in crime today after almost 2 weeks
  • Rediscovered my love for Blue October [Seriously. Go listen to "Do You Ever Wonder." Do it now. I'll wait.]
  • Drew the chemical formula for serotonin from memory
  • New episodes of Futurama on June 25!!!1!!11! ZOMG! Totally having a geek out moment, I am so freaking excited! [Please let there be lots of Kip and Zap and the crazy old cat lady.]
  • I am so over WhatsHisName. It was totally the antidepressants that had me feeling like that.
  • I'm wearing a new bra and it makes my boobs look awesome. Talk about a confidence boost.


  • Surprise (!) drug test that has to be done today or else for the nursing program. Not really worried. Just puts a kink in my plans.

Don't you love it when the good outweigh the bad?