For the past few weeks, this topic has been weighing on my mind and heart and I would love to hear your opinion on it.
I have always viewed this blog as an outlet. A place for me and my thoughts and the select few that happen upon them. Through its many incarnations and reincarnations, the majority of the people in my real life have known nothing about it.
In fact, as I think about it now, the only person that truly knows "Blog Firefly" and "Real life Firely" is my sister. Sure, my all-time favorite blogger/soul mate, Jordan, is my friend on Facebook but he has never really met me before [probably a good thing because my lust for him is barely containable. ;-)....also because I am not nearly as clever and fabulous in real life].
Part of my loves the anonymity. I love that a casual acquaintance [hell, even WhatsHisName] could stumble upon this page, read every post I have ever made, and still not be totally sure it was me making them. I love the safety of it, the security of knowing that I could hide in plain sight, if need be. But my fear is that, one day, someone I know will find this blog and they will know it is me. And then all my dirty little secrets will be out. Every fuck up. Every sin. Every late night entry that I made without truly thinking about it will come back to haunt me.
But part of me....part of me is insanely jealous of some of you. How you are. How you don't hide behind fake monikers or profile pictures. How you use your real name and the names of the people in you life that you care about. It makes you so real.
More real than I could ever hope this blog to be.
I am not saying this blog is fake. Not by a long shot. In fact, I view this blog as more than just an extension of me. My thoughts and personality x1o because there is no worry of criticism from the people I have to see every day.
That part of me desperately wants to be 100% with all of you. I want to post my name and photos of me in my awful school-mandated scrubs because, honestly, words do not do those suckers justice. I want to be real with you. But I have been "Firefly" for so long, I am not sure if I know how to be me anymore.
Talk to me, my beloveds. Tell me who you are.
If you blog, how much of your life so you put out there? What do you hold back? Why?
How is "Blog you" different (or similar) to "Real-life you?"