Saturday, August 28, 2010

OB Clincals and Penis Flashers

Hello my loves.
I should be doing care plans but nope.
Just so damn tired.
Here's how my week went:

On Monday, I spent some time in the nursing practice lab with my best-lesbian-friend/classmate. She took photos of me inserting a Foley catheter into one of the manikins. I desperately want to post it on Facebook but decided against it. She also dubbed me the "Vagina Whisperer" because she was not able to insert the Foley into this particular manikin, despite her in depth and much more expansive knowledge of the female anatomy.

Tuesday and Wednesday: Class. Blah.

Thursday was my first OB clinical of the semester. 0630 to 1830. Holy goodness, it was a long day.

I watched a c-section and saw a baby come into the world. There really is no way to describe something like that. For the rest of this child's life, I will have been one of the people to have seen him take his first breath. There is something surreal about that.

I inserted a Foley Catheter on a real live human being (a female...thank God for the practice time) and I rocked that shit.

But it wasn't all peaches.

I took a xanax (it was only a 0.25 mg and I have a prescription so don't start bitching) at the beginning of the shift and at about noon it wore off. Things started to go down hill from there. I failed miserably at starting an IV and that made me feel like crap for the rest of the day. One of my male classmates was worried about me. He said that I looked like I would start freaking out any second.
There was a simple explanation for that, love.
I was about to start freaking out at any second.

I was just starting to get so overwhelmed. Sensory overload. I was trying to ward off a panic attack in post conference and I even shed a tear but I don't think anyone saw that.
As we were all parting ways, he and my instructor approached me and asked if everything was okay. My voiced cracked as I said that I just needed to go home and decompress for a little bit. As soon as I got into the car, I broke down and started bawling. It was just too much to deal with all at once.

I mean, it was so weird. Nothing terrible happened. No one died. But yet I still had a freak out.

Just then, I got a call from the partner in crime. She wanted to know if I needed to chill for a bit. Have I mentioned how much I love this girl? Seriously. I am convinced we have a psychic connection or something because no one can read me as well as she can.
I went home, showered, packed a few books knowing damn well i wasn't going to do any studying and she came by the house and picked me up. We drove around and talked for a while. I was able to vent and cry and she just sat there and listened to me. Then we stopped at a convenience store and bought a bottle of Seagrams 7 (yeah, I know. But neither of us have the money for Crown Royal right now). The night just kind of went from there. I drunk texted a few old flames to no avail (probably a good thing).

Now, this is a little off-topic, but I think it needs to be said. If I just met you, like literally just found out your name less than 2 minutes ago, don't whip your dick out and try to press it against my hip. I mean, come on. Really? What the fuck do you expect me to do? And especially don't get pissed off at me when I laugh at the size of your junk. I don't know what you expected my reaction to be but I am sure that wasn't it. But humiliation is a good teaching tool and, as long as you are not as stupid as you look, you won't make the same mistake with the next girl.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Frisky Friday - Elevator Sex

What what?
A new feature on Word Lust?
Why, yes it is. :-)
I am not entirely sure in what direction I want this blog to go. I mean, I want it to be about my life as a nursing student but that isn't the only aspect of my life (even though the college tries to make it so). I consider nursing school something that I do, it is not who I am.
So, that being said, I am going to try and incorporate a few new fun features into this blog. This is just the first.
I got the idea from the amazing Meg over at Adventures of a Chapstick Pezbian. She does Wordless Wednesdays (which are really cool, by the way). So I thought, "Hey, Frisky Fridays sound like a good idea."
And here we are.
Every Friday (or most Fridays, should I say), I will be posting something I think is sexy, fun, and maybe even educational. It might be a link to an article that I found to be enlightening or a collage, like the one above from My Ego Will Kill You.
But I promise that I won't be posting any sexually explicit images because, let's be honest, I see too much penis and vagina on a daily basis anyway.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Something Wicked This Way Will Come

I cannot get this song out of my head.
Enjoy. :-)

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Guilty Pleasure

The Jersey Shore.
Yes, it is trashy.
Please don't lose too much respect for me.
The bestie and I actually got to hang out on Thursday night for the first time since mid-June. We had talked and saw each other at school but both of us have been so busy with dealing with our respective family obligations and the other daily bullshit that tends to fall on us.
It was so much fun and great to see her. We sang Taylor Swift's "Picture to Burn" at max volume while drinking ice tea and messing with cute guys in pick-up trucks at red lights.
Between stopping by the video store (which actually turned out to be a porn and toy shop) and going to a tattoo shop to see if they carried vibrating tongue rings, we realized how much we missed each other over the summer.
This is going to be an interesting semester.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Show me yours and I'll show you mine

hey loves

So, as all of you know, we nursing students are a bunch of deviant freaks. Yeah. I found out just how much today.
I have been a good girl my whole life. Seriously. I mean, I didn't even start drinking until after I turned 21 (which doesn't seem like a big deal but when you consider the group of druggies and alcoholics I am related to, you would understand).
But lately, I have been wanting to throw caution to the wind and do something wild and reckless. Like going sky diving, buying a pet snake named Rasputin, or getting my tongue pierced.
I was talking to my partner-in-crime and another one of friends (a male classmate). We were talking about how she accidental swallowed the ball to her tongue ring that morning and had to use the ball from her belly button ring to keep it from falling out. I turned to her and said, "Speaking of piercings, you are coming with me to do that thing, right?"
She said, "Oh, hell yeah."
The guy said, "Wait. What are ya'll doing? Is Estelle getting her nipples pierced?"
I must have turned three different shades of red while the PIC laughed out loud.
He laughed and said not to worry about it, that he had been there and done that. He actually just took the nipple rings out over the summer and let them close up. But then he said, 'Yeah, I got the nipples pierced along with the three Prince Alberts all in the same night."
Excuse me? Three? Wow.
All I have to say is, how did I miss all the good stuff when I did his mock physical assessment during Fundamentals?

So, my loves. Nip piercings. What say you? Yay or nay?



hello my beloveds

I am exhausted. Seriously. It is only the second day of classes. I had seminars all day tomorrow and Friday. OSHA videos and tons upon tons of paperwork to finish. Also we have a dosage calculations exam on Friday along with a few clinical skills check-offs. Fanfuckingtastic.
I guess the stress is starting to get to me earlier this semester than usual. This after noon I came home after class and had lunch (mmmm...comfort food, thy name is grilled cheese). After finishing some medication cards for medications used in OB and downing two Snickers bars (don't judge me), I promptly passed out and had one hell of a nightmare.
I dreamed that I was in the pediatric unit of the hospital, working with a child and his mother. We were getting along amazingly. The child, despite being sick, seemed happy and the mom and I even exchanged cell phone numbers because we wanted to keep in touch after the child left the hospital (a total no-no in nursing school....keep work and personal life miles apart) because she wanted to be friends (she was in her early 30s). We were standing at the nurse's station, chatting about something when she said, "Oh, my husband's here." I look behind me at only to see WhatsHisName exiting the elevator. Our eyes met. He looked very surprised, to say the least, to see me talking to his wife.
That was when I woke up. Holy geez. It had me shaking.
Even though it freaked me out, I kind of wished I knew how it ended. I mean, did his wife find out about us? Did I tell her? Did me and WhatsHisName end up making out in the supply closet?
I need to know what kind of person my subconscious thinks I am.


Tuesday, August 17, 2010


I should be studying the bazillion chapters of assigned reading for this week. [Maybe not a bazillion...3 for Med-Surg and 6 for Maternal-Child]
I should be writing out page after page of notes.
I should be printing the 5000 (no joke) pages of information they have posted for us on Blackboard (anyone wanna contribute to my printer-ink-fund?).
I should be relearning my dosage calculations.
I should be practicing for my skills check offs (IV placement, push, and IVPB; Foley cath; NG tubes).

But I'm not.
Because I am sitting on the third floor of the library, listening to Shinedown, and trying not to cry or in any other way freak the fuck out. [Doing a stellar job of that, by the way]
When I am scared, I don't go into "fight or flight" mode. I freeze. I have no idea what to do right now.

We start OB and peds rotations next week. The thought of being in a delivery room right now with my limited amount of knowledge on the subject terrifies me. Deep down, I know that they would never put us in the position where we could actually hurt anyone but the little voice in the back of my head keeps yelling "You don't know anything! You are going to kill someone!"
I mean, we just started lecture this morning! How do they expect us to be able to talk intelligently with clients and medical personnel with what we know (essentially, nothing).

So my dear lovely readers, please send me your prayers and good vibrations from the universe. Burn some sage or light a candle. Do whatever it is that you do in the hopes that I will no totally lose it this semester.
Because it will not be an easy ride.


Sunday, August 15, 2010

New Favorite Thing

"Words With Friends" may be the best thing ever.
If you have an iPod or an iPhone or an iPad or an iRock or whatever, download the app. My ID is EstelleDarling. Let's play a game. ;-)

Saturday, August 14, 2010

It's All Starting Again

hello my dolls
have you missed me?

So this semester starts on Monday. It is going to be rough. I already know that. Everyone I have talke dto says it is the most challenging of the whole program and I am trying to mentally prepare for the fact that I will probably not have any kind of social life or sleep for the next few months. I proably won't be seeing too much of my family either but that isn't always such a bad thing.
My first class isn't until Tuesday morning (at 0730!) but I have to be at the college on Monday to take care of some last minute financial aid stuff (accepting the amount that was offered for my student loan). I am thinking of hanging out outside of the nursing lecture hall while the new class is going in and saying "Run! Run for your lives while you still can!" ;-)
But anyway, the schedule is looking something like this:
  • Adult Nursing 2 from 0730 to 1030 on Tuesdays.
  • Maternal-Child Nursing from 1045 to 1245 on Tuesday and Wednesday.
  • Clinicals all day on Thursday and Friday.

At least, I have Mondays off. It will be my new favorite day of the week, I am sure.

I spend an hour last night hole-punching index cards.
Yeah, you can tell school is starting again.
Wish me luck, my loves. I am going to need a miricle to survive this semester with what little sanity I have left intact.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Adventures in New Orleans

Oh my loves
you didn't think that I had forgotten about you, did you?
oh you have so little faith in me ;-)

I promised you stories. I have stories.
So, on Saturday morning at 0545, my alarm clock went off. Ugh. Too early. I resisted the urge to stay curled under the covers and go back to the lovely dream I had been having (Hello, Fireman McHottie :::cue cheesy porno music:::).
Dressed. (Push-up bra? Yes please)
Okay, so Rob, my companion-in-crime (not to be confused with the partner-in-crime) said he would be at my house to pick me up at 0730...he showed up at 0645.
Damn. Brush teeth. Rush the make-up job (not that it would have made a difference anyway because I ended up sweating most of it off while walking around the city). Find the shoes and out the door we went.
Why the such an early wake up call?
OMG. The BR balloon festival!!!11!!
It happens every year around August but I haven't been since I was really young. I am talking really young. Like 10 years old. So, of course it was a real treat to relive my childhood...well you least a part of my childhood that I didn't hate or repress.

The balloon sponsored by the US Army made a bit of a premature landing right off the launching field. Awww. That's okay, guys. We still love ya'll even though you cannot fly a hot air balloon for shit (Geez. Good thing we don't sure those in battle.)

After our venture into the world of hot air ballooning, we finally arrived in New Orleans. I have to tell you readers, it is a city that I believe everyone must visit at least once in their lifetime.
It is hard to explain.
For us who are lucky enough to live within driving distance of the city, we sometimes take it for granted. The way of life, the culture. It is almost magic.

I would have to say that this is my favorite picture from the whole trip. I love the colors of the Mystic Tea Leaves sign. There are places like this all over the city. They lend to the surreal atmosphere.

One of our planned stops for the way was the pharmacy museum. As you all know, I am a nursing student (and a huge nerd) so all things medical history interest me.

The old fashion soda fountain.

Hmm. This boys and girls, is an antique urethral dialator (click the photo for the full size and give yourself a few years worth of nightmares). For those of you fortunate enough to have not had to suffer through A&P, a urethra is the orifice through which urine exits the body. So basically, a doctor (aka, a closet sadist) would shove this rusty looking contraction up your penis (for males) or all up in your lady business (for females) and it was somehow suppose to heal what ails you. Um...awesome?

Bottles and bottles of cures.

A horrifyingly large hypodermic needle.

More cures.

Mmmm. Tonic wine. Just what I need.

An absinthe glass and spoon. We actually went to the Absinthe Museum later that day. I took a few really good photos but was asked by our lovely tour guide not to post them online. I think because the museum was so small, that if everyone already knew what was inside, they wouldn't bother coming inside. Go inside people! Tour the absinthe museum.

Spectacles (I love that word).

Prosthetic eyeballs. I would have to say that this was the scariest thing in the whole museum for me. I can handle big, ass needles. I can handle a jar possibly containing a fetus. I can even handle the urethra dialator.
But, good God, I fucking hate shit like this. Eye balls. Ew. It was like they were watching me take the photo. Or watching whatever was slightly to my left while I was taking the photo. Whatever.

This sign made me giggle. You know, because I have the same sense of humor as my :::coughcough::: 13-year-old nephew (Opps. He would never forgive me if he knew that I had forgotten how old he was.)

The beautiful courtyard of the pharmacy museum. Most of the building in New Orleans have these amazing little patios behind them.

After the Pharmacy museum, we did some more walking around the city and toured the Absinthe Museum, although, I am not sure if we did that before or after lunch.

Blue Dog! George Rodrigue's infamous creation.
And yes, smartass. I know the largest dog in the photo is red. But it is still Blue Dog. ;-)

Because my companion-in-crime is a huge military history buff, we just had to do a tour of the World War 2 museum.

Lots and lots of penicillin. When I saw this, I couldn't help but be reminded of the fact that 1 in 4 people have an STD. Safe sex, kids. It's a good thing.

The museum was featuring a special exhitbit on the animals of WW2. This is a picture of a horse wearing a gas mask. Awesome.

Okay. It's stupid but I don't care. The best thing about port cities (New Olreans, Pensacola, basically any city with a military base) are the hot guys. They are everywhere.
Yes. I realize it is shallow. No. I do not care.

After spending the day walking the city and touring three different museums, it was time for a drink. Rob, my campanion-in-crime, had heard a lot of good things about a bar called "Pravda" and wanted to check it out. (He had been wanting an absinthe all day and when he found out I had never tried it, he insisted on it.)
It was awesome! The above photo was taken in their courtyard.

Pravda has a kind of Soviet-kitch charm to it. One of the bartenders, who I actually didn't have the pleasure of meeting, did all the artwork and painting for it.

Okay. So Rob and I both ordered absinthe (Lucid brand). I am not going to lie. It was terrible. Tasted like black liqorice. I don't like licorice and I really don't know anyone who does (have you ever seen a liqorice flavored condom? No? My point exactly).
But the one good thing about it? The drink is strong. Really strong. I probably should have stopped after my first drink didn't.
I debated on being a total tourist and ordering a Crown and Redbull until the lovely bartender, Katie, said that they don't carry Redbull. Um....what? No Redbull? Unheard of.
But a wonderful gentlemen (and I use that term very loosely) recommended I get a Sazerac, saying that it was the offical drink of the New Orleans natives. Although he didn't look particularly trustworthy, i throw caution to the wind and ordered one...and another.
Maybe it is because drunk tastebuds have low standards but it was soooooo good.
While Rob was busy nursing his drink and taking with a couple about the history of absinthe and politics and, for all I know, the price of tea in China; the guy and I started talking. I found out his name was Johnny (although everyone calls him Midnight "because nothing good happens after Midnight".....I disagree what that is neither here nor there.)
Unforunately, I don't remember the whole conversation.
But I do specifically remember him saying, after we had been taking for less that 10 minutes, "So, are you into BDSM?"
Whoa, honey. First of all, kind of. Secondly, I just met you. Let's ease into that topic.
He then went into a semi-one sided "conversation" about St. Andrew's crosses and cat'o'nine tails. All the while, I am trying not to blush myself to death. I normally won't be so prudish about the kinky stuff but I was just praying to everything that was holy Rob wasn't hearing any of this conversation.
You see, Rob wasn't a date or anything. He is basically my former-stepdad. (he and my mom dated for about two years). So yeah, you can see why I won't want him knowing the details of my sex life (or as it is for the moment, my lack of sex life).
Alcohol and I have a complicated relationship. We normally get along very well. But we have our problems. Mainly, when I drink, I talk too much. About things I shouldn't.
AKA "word vomit"
This is how Johnny (and Rob) found out not only was I seeing a guy earlier this year who was married with children but that I had a girlfriend. Not a 'Oh, me and my girlfriend are going shopping" but "me and my girlfriend just made out in the bathroom....awesomesause."
Now, let's say this all together. "Opps"
It was an really good day and, despite spilling my secrets to a sexy stranger in a bar (who has a girlfriend....damnnit), it was exactly what I needed to refresh myself before starting back to school next week.
Here we are, my loves. I leave you with a few photos of the sunset on over New Olreans.