Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Oh, penis problems

Hello my loves
Currently sitting in the library at the college, avoiding my textbooks like they are the plague.
Let me tell you a story.

I overslept this morning (but only slightly). I arrived at my 0730 class at 0740 and guess what? The lecture hall door was locked. yep. Fan-fucking-tastic. This is just one of the many things that bother me about my Adult Nursing 2 professor but I am hesitant to talk about them, lest they come back around and bite me in the ass.
Because i was locked out of the classroom, I had a good hour to kill before they class took a break and I could saunter in fashionably late. I did not put that hour to very good use (mostly Facebook and Words With Friends).
So, an hour goes by (blah blah blah).
I go into the lecture hall, get a hug from one of my favorite male nurses, and settle in for what I believe to be a boring lecture.
Oh, how wrong I was.
The title: "Male Reproductive Problems" or as I like to call it, "Way more dick problems than you will ever want to know able"
I walked in just in time to hear about erectile dysfunction for 2 hours, including an in depth analysis of penis pumps, cock rings, and penile implants.
I was joking with my best-lesbian-friend that, after that lecture, she might have the right idea.
But it was hands down the funniest lecture I have ever attended.
Best quote from the prof: "Rigid, or malleable, penile implants stay hard all the time. The man will always be ready for sexual intercourse. And when he doesn't want to have sex, he can just tuck it. That's what transgendered men do. They tuck it."



Steven Lafitte said...

I wouldn't tuck it in if I had a penile implant. Hell no, I would have it poking out 24/7 unless I was in a movie theater and was trying to get past people in the aisle. Yet, even then I may not tuck it in. In fact, no I would not...I would even have a shirt that had an arrow pointing to it that read: "Hi this is Hernandez Agata Carne Asada. And while I myself am not of Mexican origin my penis is.

They will not harm you unless provoked, or if you're behind me and your face is waist high and I turn around quickly. Otherwise you are perfectly safe.

With that being said, he takes Visa/Mastercard & American Express, and when he is feeling especially generous "Diners Club" is acceptable.

If you are offended by the protrusion in my pants, please advert your eyes elsewhere or feel free to dress it in Christmas tinsel for your viewing pleasure.

Thank you and Good luck.

Estelle Darling said...

A little wordy but an awesome idea for a t-shirt.

Steven Lafitte said...

Wordy? Yeah, you're probably right but it could be in super fine print. Or the shirt itself could be super long like a night gown. Hmmm...the possibilities!