Thursday, December 23, 2010

Facebook Relationship Options

Hello my darlings

[sigh]
Facebook needs more relationship options.

Let's review:
Single - Yes...sort of. This is such a boring option but it's what I have listed.
In a relationship - Kinda. But not anymore? Grr. I don't know!
Engaged - Absolutely not.
Married - Pardon the colorful language, but fuck no. Currently not interested and probably won't ever be. I think I've dated too many married men to ever consider it.
It's complicated - This might be the most accurate description of my situation but it invites way too many questions from overly involved family members who think it is their business to know all the dirty little details of your sex life. Before you know it, they are telling everyone at the annual church 4th of July party that you are getting your tongue pierced because you love sucking dick and want a tramp stamp that says "fuck toy" across your lower back. (Thanks, Aunt I!)
In an Open Relationship - Second most accurate available description of my relationship status.
Widowed, Separated, or Divorced - Not applicable on any account.

No. None of those will do. Here are the ones I would like to see, because they either apply to me now or have applied to my relationships on the recent past.
Bitter - Only 22 but already jaded to "love" and all that other flowery bullshit. Blah.
Forever alone - Mmm. Not the worst fate imaginable because most people suck anyway.
Mistress - My favorite title. You may call me Mistress Estelle...and you will like it. ;-)
Home wrecker - Yeah. This was totally not my fault. I cannot help that the majority of the men I attract at liars, married, or slightly unbalanced (usually an unsettling combination of all 3).
Fuck buddies with... - How awesome would that be if this were actually an option?!
In a love triangle - It is almost as tricky to navigate as the Bermuda triangle.

4 comments:

CaLLie.ANN said...

Fuck buddies is my favorite. And can I have a list, instead of just one?

Estelle Darling said...

There shouldn't even be the option of listing only one. Minimum of 3.

Zazzy Episodes said...

Did you really get a tramp stamp with Fuck Toy written? Hahaha
I have a tattoo written across my lower back but it doesn't say that.

Estelle Darling said...

Lol. No. No tattoos yet. And I ended up not getting my tongue pierced because it was too obvious (my nursing school actually added a section to our handbook banning tongue piercings after my girlfriend got hers done). That's why I went with the nipple piercings. Lol.
I had mentioned on Facebook a few months ago that I had wanted a tattoo or a piercing and my ultra conservative aunt took it the wrong way.