Hello my loves
I think despite my best efforts to the contrary, I may be becoming a mostly reasonable, fairly mature, semi-well adjusted adult.
Case in point: Today was a friend of mine's birthday.
Actually, let's back up a minute. Once upon a time, he was more than a friend, at least to me. I was infatuated with him. Head-over-freaking-heels. The kind of passion that writes songs and builds monuments and drives 3 days straight across the country just to see him for 10 minutes. I was crazy about him, basically. But he had a girlfriend. So I let go of any ideas I had about us falling in love and living happily ever after and continued on contently with just being a friend and study buddy to him.
One day, I heard through the grapevine that he was single again (why he didn't tell me himself, I'll never know). So I did what any modern woman would do. I asked him out.
He was hesitant and I knew what he was going to say even before he said it. He looked me in the eyes and told me that he cared about me...that I was a sweet girl (that actually stung a little when he said it)...that I was a great friend and he loved me like a sister....but that was all I would ever be to him.
After being kind of frosty to him for the next month, I finally realized that I had no reason to be upset with him. In fact, the only thing he was guilty of was not realizing how amazing I am...and how could I be angry at him for something like that? If anything, I should be sad for him because he missed out on something that could have been beautiful.
So I "forgave" him and we went back to the way things were before.
Well, today was his birthday. I signed into Facebook and saw all our friends posting on his wall. But something on his page caught my eye. In a small box on one side, I saw his new girlfriend. So naturally, I looked at her profile.
She was cute. And she had tons of photos of them together....and I have never seen him smile like that before. He was almost glowing. He looked so captivated by her...in love with her.
I looked at the photos for a moment...trying to process how I felt about it. And I think now I can say that I am truly happy for him.
Darlings, I care about this guy. Would I have liked for us to be together? Yes. But even more than that, I want him to be happy...even if it isn't with me.
So, here we are, my loves.
I am single. And I'm okay. Even as I see all my friends and the people I care about finding their someone special and falling in love and building families, I'm okay. That will be me one day. Even if I have to wait for it awhile. And I am sure, one day, the wait will have been worth it.
I'd like to wish my sweetheart Callie Ann the best of luck with nursing school. Today was her first day. And I am just so proud of her. :-)
You are amazing, girl. And you are going to be an awesome nurse.