Hello my darlings.
I thought we would start off 2011 with a bang. And by a bang, I mean a double dose of *Frisky Friday*.
[I am perfectly aware that today is, in fact, Sunday. And while I am sure by Christian standards that I am already going to hell, calling this post "Slutty Sunday" just seems wrong on so many levels.] On December 17, 2010; the New Orleans city council voted to classify marijuana possession and prostitution as "municipal offenses." Basically, that means if you are caught smoking pot with your hooker, you won't necessarily be arrested. You could just be issued a summons for court.
Now, I don't do drugs [haven't smoked pot since my teens] and I have no reason to hire a hooker but, for some people, Mardi Gras this year is going to be pretty freaking awesome.
Personal story: Okay. I told ya’ll a few weeks ago that I had signed for a few dating websites. I didn’t exactly tell you the whole story.
One afternoon, I was lying on my bed, flipping through an EKG workbook (*Nerd Alert*) while a girl friend was playing on my laptop. We were just BSing back and forth when she started asking me bizarre questions about my sex life. I didn’t think too much of this at the time because it wasn’t really out of character for her.
It wasn’t until she said, “So, what are your feelings about strap-ons? Yay or Nay?” that I realized she was not on Facebook like I thought she was.
No my loves. She was on a fetish website creating a dating profile for yours truly, complete with photos of me in a corset from last Halloween. Fabulous. After having a mini-freak out on her [including the phrase, “Are you out of your fucking mind?!” EDIT: And insisting she delete the photograph of me. She replaced it with the one above. Haha.], I looked at her creation. And while she didn’t use my name at all, she listed me as a bisexual Mistress/Dominatrix who is into “batting my eyelashes and pretending I’m innocent,” as well as a whole list of other fetishes. Some of which I was familiar with, while others, I didn't understood. So of course, I looked them up. For the love of God, readers, don’t ever do that…you’ll have nightmares. I mean, seriously, I thought I was into some pretty kinky stuff. Nope. I'm quite vanilla compared to some of these people.
We actually had a good laugh about it after I calmed down. Then we started looking up people in our city, just for the hell of it. One profile stopped me dead in my tracks.
“OMG. I know him! We had a class together a few semesters ago. I had the biggest crush on him too.” We checked out his profile and guess what? Naked photos of him.
Wow. That’s all I can say. Just...wow.
But anyway, I had pretty much forgotten about the website and profile until yesterday. I logged on to find 10 new messages. Eight men and two women. All from my city. All wanting me to be their dominatrix.
Woah. As tempting as some of the offers were [You say you'll clean my house? Naked? Really? And all I have to do is say you are worthless and pathetic while holding a whip?], I think it is time to deactivate that account.