Sunday, February 27, 2011

Textual harassment

Two seperate conversations I had today via text message.

[Context: My mother is currently in Florida. Due to be home tomorrow. I do not do drugs or condone the use of them. Just had to put that out there because no doubt someone would get their panties in a twist if I didn't say it. Also, don't be a fool. Wrap your tool.]
Mom: What are you doing, sunshine?
Estelle: Intervenous drugs and unprotected sex with a guy I don't know.
Mom: Some homeless person no doubt.
Estelle: He's not homeless. He makes great money as a drug dealer.
Mom: Oh good. At least he can pay the bills. Haha.
Mom: Have I ever apologized for warping you?
Estelle: Haha. No.
Mom: I do love you. lol
Estelle: I love you too. I am online, eating dinner and having some tea.
Mom: I just finished a bacon cheeseburger and some milk.
Estelle: Yum.
Mom: I will make some when I get home.
Estelle: Make some what? Intervenous drugs?
Mom: Yep
Estelle: Awesome.

[Context: Talking with a classmate about the oscars.]
Friend: What would you do if Robert Downey Jr was standing in front of you and talking about anything?
Estelle: I would fuck him.
Friend: omg omg omg I love you.
Friend: Hahaha! Anyone else would have been like "idk" but not you!!! Hahaha.
Friend: Omg. I saw him on TV and discovered my libido.


Kendra said...

Most excellent. Love that convo with your mom...just casually mentioning the drugs and sex and she plays right along. I have friends who I can have conversations like that with (OK, that sentence is horribly grammatically incorrect...I own it). And oddly enough, they also take place via text. Hmmm...

rnraquel said...

Your Mom sounds like she has a good sense of humor.
Robert Downey Jr is my ideal man as well :)
I meant to comment on one of your other posts: Taurus people rock! I'm a Cancer myself, and we usually get along great.

Auron Renius said...

Well, according to Thomas Aquinas (c1224-75) lust is sinful and should only be used for the survival of the human race. :P

“The more necessary a thing is, the more it behooves one to observe the order of reason in its regard; wherefore the more sinful it becomes if the order of reason be forsaken. Now the use of venereal acts, as stated in the foregoing Article, is most necessary for the common good, namely the preservation of the human race.

Wherefore there is the greatest necessity for observing the order of reason in this matter: so that if anything be done in this connection against the dictate of reason's ordering, it will be a sin. Now lust consists essentially in exceeding the order and mode of reason in the matter of venereal acts. Wherefore without any doubt lust is a sin”."

The Bootcut Femme said...

Hey, Auron Renius! Guess what!
You're an ass.

<3 this post, Estelle!

NP Odyssey said...

I have to get my Mom to text more, although I think she would have had an MI if I said something like that.

As for Auron you can just change your spam settings to filter him out.

It's just me :) said...

Hee hee!!! Love it. If I said that to my mother she no doubt would have sent a shrink to my house (or the bishop of the church, either one) immediately.

And Robert Downey Jr? Can I just say YUM. I'd do him for sure.

Estelle Darling said...

@Kendra: Haha. My mother is the source of my bizarre sense of humor.

@RNRaquel - Rock on, Cancer chick. :) And yes. Robert Downy Jr is quite lovely.

@Bootcut Femme - Thanks, love. <3

@NP - It took a while for my mom to get with the texting thing but now she is a fiend. Constantly. I swear...some days I think she is worse than me. lol

@IJM - Haha. Good thing my mom doesn't know any bishops. ;)